Soft Power, Loud Message

Welcome back to another episode of the Hella Chisme Podcast.

This week, we a celebrating a hundred years of Black history.

It deserves more than a nod, it deserves a living practice. We open with a real moment of chaos (yes, a fully recorded episode lost to overzealous file cleaning), then land on a richer theme: the quiet, sustained work of becoming and belonging. From the rain-soaked coziness of a home studio to a culture-shaping Super Bowl performance that centered language, place, and love over hate, we track how pride moves from nostalgia to action.

LINK: https://linktr.ee/hellachismepodcast 

Listen, share with a friend who needs a nudge to set a boundary today, and leave a review so more folks can find the show. Subscribe for new episodes and keep the conversation—and the community—growing.

Transcript

Black History Month Reflections

Losing A Pre-Recorded Episode

Culture, Weather, And Personal Check-In

Black History Lives In The Present

Motivation, Pausing, And Recalibrating

Super Bowl Performance And Cultural Messaging

Returning To Black History Focus

Why “Becoming” Caught My Attention

Michelle Obama’s “Becoming” Unpacked

Resilience, Scrutiny, And Continuous Becoming

Navigating Predominantly White Spaces

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hey, I just want to let you know that we have a Patreon channel. That's right. If you did not know, we are on Patreon. Our Patreon is$8.99. So all you have to do is click the link in on my description. And it would take you right here. We 11 days into Black History Month. And how we doing? How are we feeling? What's going on? What's happening? Um, I'm getting my my earbuds in because I'm recording my husband's home and I don't want to be distracted by any noises that I hear. So I'm blocking myself into the space. We are in the space that we're recording. Um Happy Black History Month, y'all. How are we doing? How are we feeling? Are we thriving and surviving? Are we gone with the wind fabulous? How are we doing? Um so first of all, I am so sorry that I'm late uh just to get started. Um I had intended on a full-on episode to be out last Friday. And let me just tell y'all what happened. So I called myself, you know, spring, no, not really spring, because it ain't spring. Let's say cleaning for the new year and getting organized and everything. I had uh listened to an episode of the friend zone, and Fran was talking about how she had was cleaning up files, getting things organized, and getting things in place. So I call myself doing the same goddamn thing. And I had already pre-recorded an episode for that I had pushed to come out for this year for Black History Month, and so then I was cleaning and throwing things away, reorganizing files, putting things where they're supposed to go, and somehow accidentally deleted the episode. And so I had got myself together and finally went to a record the intro of the episode only to find out that I had accidentally deleted it, and now here we are today. So my bad. Uh doing too many things at one time, had too much going on, um, you know, wasn't paying attention. But you know, that's what happens. That's what you need to do. You need to, you know, you gotta be organized, get your shit together, and then we we won't have these problems, hopefully. Uh, but shit happens, right? Uh thankfully, I got my girls in order. We're gonna record the episode again, and y'all gonna get what I had coming for y'all. So we good. Um, the other thing was, you know, coming into the new year, I had sat my tail down and got all prepared and organized, set up, was wanted to do this, that, and the third, do wop, top, pop, and just was not feeling as motivated. And I wanted this episode to be something I definitely wanted to be around black history. I didn't know exactly what direction I wanted to go in, and um the inspiration wasn't there, so I wanted to give myself time, and I did, and you know, we're gonna talk about some things today, but that's why I'm like all in all, cheers of black history month, y'all. Um happy to be here, you know. Uh if you didn't know, the month this year in February for Black History Month, we are recognizing a hundred years of Black history. That's right, a century of Black history um that we are celebrating this year. Uh, February since 1926. Uh, this marks a hundred years since Carter G. Woodson had started and launched Negro History Week back then, and now we have our full month, um, which is amazing. You know, you look at a century full of efforts uh and you know, studying and preserving uh the history that us as black people come from and uh the culture that we bring. Which speaking of culture, am I giving like retro 90s, 80s, you know, vibes? If not, you know, that's kind of what I was going for. If you've listened and watched this show from the beginning, you know I've worn this before, but I always I just pulled it back out because it's it's Seattle outside. It's been raining uh for a majority of the day today, and um yeah, it's a little chilly in this house, so I want it to be warm and cozy, but then I also want to be cute, but I also haven't gotten a haircut or shaved, but whatever. Um but yes, I just I think it's really cool that um I get to be around for a hundred years of celebrating black history. I get to celebrate it here with you all. I get to celebrate it at work. Yes, at work we still do celebrate black history. As long as I will be managing any type of cultural things, we will always make sure black history is celebrated around here. Um, something to remember is that black history is not confined to the past, it lives in our communities, um, in our culture, in our collective future. Um, as much as you know, people try to erase what we do in uh the history that we have. Um I have always to ten toes down in making sure that um we're seen and heard in the areas that I walk into. And um, you know, they can try and get us out of here and push us away. But the proof is in the pudding, baby. We here. We're here and we gonna be here. So we must continue to celebrate and must continue to recognize the history uh that we've laid upon uh this here earth in uh in this world that we live in. Other than that, what's going on? Um there's been you know, life has been busy. Um as I mentioned, um I was struggling with, you know, finding a little bit of motivation for this episode and just, you know, moving in general, not moving because like getting up and moving around to get things around in general. Um since going back to work, it's been a little, it's been very busy, but it's never not gonna be busy. But I also just feel like certain things happen in order to make you pause and uh rethink and to recalibrate. And I think when we are thinking about um and thinking about my files getting deleted or me deleting them, you know. I keep saying getting deleted as if I didn't accidentally delete them. I totally accidentally deleted them. It was an accident, but you know, just thinking um shit happens for a reason in the universe and world has a way of making sure that you're pausing and slowing down when you need to. Um if I may take a quick little pause of talking about black history and all the things which we will get back into. I would be it would be foolish of me not to kind of speak to well not to speak about this past weekend was uh Super Bowl weekend, Super Bowl Sunday, and uh which means Benito Bowl happened on Sunday, which was ridiculously fantastic. Um yeah, that young man got up on that stage and showed his whole ass, and I was here for all of it. Uh performed his little tail off. Um, and it was fantastic. Uh you know, I think I we could clearly see that he was telling a story about um growing up uh in Puerto Rico, uh having a family working in the fields, um, and then you know, building a community with all building community in the culture, having a full cultural moment, having um, you know, Cardi B, Jessica Alba, um uh what's that man's name? Pascal. What's that man's name? Uh Jessica Alba, Cardi B, Carol G, uh, all on stage with him as he is performing and just kind of and bringing the community together as one. Um I'm looking at my Pedro Pascal and Carol G. And it was so cool to see Jessica Alba because when's the last time we've seen Jessica Alba? And why she still looked 23 years old, I just thought that was so dope. And then having Ricky Martin and Lady Gaga um a part of the performance as well was just really, really cool to see it all come together, um, and kind of a flex because let's be clear, if he wanted to do this whole thing by himself, he could have done just that. So, and I and most of the time, like the last couple of um I think when the last two after Beyonce, because let's be clear, Beyonce didn't need nobody on that stage with her. The only people she brought was the rest of Destiny's Child. Um when who was it? It was I think Snoop Dog and Mary J. Blige and Dr. Dre and all of them. And then um uh I don't know if it was before or after Beyonce or um Lil Uh Strawberries and Ice. Lucky thank you, that's what I like. That's what I like. Lucky thank you, that's what I like. Bruno Mars. Um he had Beyonce on with his performance, and I think he had like two other guests. Point being, I it'd have been just fine if he would have done this whole thing by himself because he only had two other people show up. But I thought it was dope that it was Ricky Martin and it was Lady Gaga. Um, and then also just having the messaging that he had, like when he had the football and it said uh Together We are America, which is a statement of like the American dream, from what I was always understanding, is to us to all work together and to be together. And America is what's supposed to be such a great country because people could come here and thrive. Whereas that is the complete opposite of what the quote unquote dream has been and people's experiences have been. So, um, and then now today, knowing the shit that we shit show that it has turned into. So I get it. It's and it's really, really cool. And then on the billboard he had where it says, the only thing more powerful than hate is love, right? Um, which was which without the messaging on the football, that is a message in and of itself. Like, you know, ideally it would be great if we all could just not be hateful and just love one another and move forward, but you know, that's not seeming to be the world that we are living in, and um that we're you know, that's something that we're trying to fight for now. Um in start of the performance and watching the whole performance immediately, you know, I started to feel emotional about it because this person is making a statement um not only of not um being a with not only having English as not being their first language and speaking uh Spanish while performing on a um platform that is uh where predominantly most of the people does not they they don't speak Spanish was a flex in and of itself as well because it's like fuck y'all I don't need to speak English to perform on this stage, and everybody was lit and it was fine. Um so all in all, I think it was dope, it was very moving, and um I loved every bit and every part of it. Um I think we need more of that, especially now, uh with the state of the world and where we are at. Um I think that was Bunny about it. Other than that, I'd be happy that uh the Patriots lost. I mean, I'm not really a Seattle fan, Seattle fan either, but definitely not a Patriots fan. So shout out to Seattle um But for now, uh we are going to get into some other things for this month, for this episode. I do have I have some things to chat about that we're gonna talk about. Um but we'll take a quick break and then we will be right back. And we are back. Um, so initially I think when well, I when I was preparing and getting ready for this episode, ideally I was I wanted to highlight African American black figures, you know, people that I enjoy and like and um and follow. You know, so I thought about like people like uh Jackie Ina, who has been in the beauty industry for years and has uh been a huge figure on um YouTube and Instagram now, and has like you know a candle bus uh business and um or uh people like um Scott Lewis who I enjoy. Uh I don't he has a um number one cookbook, has like a seasoning line, and has uh is super thriving on TikTok. Um also people like um uh Tyrrell, like the Tyrell show, um with the blue wall, and you know, highlighting artists, and you know, even people that I work with now, like Mike Brown, who works on the show with me, Ryan Out Lau, who's been on an episode, um the no man podcast, who you know has been super supportive and that I, you know, go back and forth with on social media sometimes about um on different things or whatever they're talking about. Um, and even like some people who I've had on the show, um, you know, I those were the type of things that I was like, you know, I can talk about some of that, or I can um talk about and highlight some, you know, figures in history. But then I was scrolling through uh TikTok one day, and there was a creator who um he was saying um because the Epstein File documentary came out on Netflix, and he was trying, he was like, we shall all boycott against the Epstein Foul documentary and watch Michelle Obama's Becoming. And at the time I was like, Yeah, I don't know that I'm gonna watch either one of those things. No, and with no shade behind the becoming uh documentary, I just was like, I don't know that I'm gonna watch it. But I because I also I didn't read the book, but that was also because I have ADHD. I don't have, you know, my attention span is very short. And if you're not if you if it's not, you know, coming and going when it comes to me reading or listening to a book, then baby, my attention has has been lost, and it's gonna take me months to get finished with this book. So um, and so I had watched that TikTok and then I was like, you know what? Okay, and then I saw it had came up on my Netflix, so I watched it. So I watched Becoming uh by Michelle Obama. So this segment we're gonna talk a little bit about it and um kind of just unpack it a little bit. You know, I distinctly remember um when um Barack Obama was elected into office, uh, and a lot of the things that happened in the news during that time, and I till this day remember the day that they left the office. Um a lot of this documentary, and when you think about the whole becoming uh piece of it, it's a it's a loaded um in my mind, it's a loaded um nothing. It's it's to me, it's just all loaded, right? Becoming what? What are you what are you becoming and what it is and after watching it you understand that it's becoming of different things, different aspects of life, different becoming Coming into different areas um through change. So, you know, it does recap um the days of them being in the White House, uh, in the opening scenes, um, it revisits a lot of those eight years and about witnessing, you know, what it costs to lead with integrity, uh, leading in a system that was never really built for us, and then leading in a system where um being a woman and then a black woman to a man that is black and now president uh can be a emotional fucking roller coaster. Um and I and then like the opening scenes, you know, it's her talking about um leaving the White House and um how everything was changing immediately after eight years, and when she finally left and got on the jet to head back to their home, uh having an emotional breakdown at that moment. And I had the same emotional breakdown right at the moment when she was talking about it. Because I think for me, while watching it, you know, you um are reliving watching them leave and watching uh an end of an era and um not really knowing what to expect uh right after that with this new administration at the time coming into office and you know what we should be bracing ourselves for. Um the film itself isn't just about who she becomes after the power at after power, as it is about you know, everything that she survived, everything she did after, and everything she has been doing afterwards, and where she is going, what she's doing, and how she wants to continue to do the work, right? So um I think that well from the from the documentary itself, you know, Michelle Obama was a is a woman who was rooted in um who's was really about listening and showing up in consist in showing up in spaces consistently, holding boundaries, and then um making sure that she was connecting with uh with communities that needed the support. Um and she did, and she definitely worked within her community. Uh, they showed clips of that. Um, you know, she was she is was showing like a lot of her connection with her brother and her mom. Uh her mom was heavily through the documentary. Um, her and her brother look like fucking twins. He was in the documentary a lot as well, talking about her dad in the beginning, you know, how her and um Obama met and you know their time uh working through um working through their marriage and the things that happened and came up while uh he was in office and and then thereafter and before. Um so it was very interesting to see and to get her perspective uh on um her and who she was becoming while after leaving the White House. Um and then also becoming as an ongoing practice, right? Which is uh how she presents it is that becoming never stops, right? And that's why in the beginning of this I was like, it's it's a loaded um it's a loaded uh thought because a person never really stops becoming or learning or changing or evolving. Um it's a continuous practice. Um so it was really cool to see and to um to hear her perspective when it came to what it was that she was becoming through through the time of being in the office with uh uh Barack, from the time going into the second term of being in the office, and then to the time of when it finally ended, to who she was supposed to be becoming after uh his presidency and who she was going to become for herself. Um, because while being in the office, even and while going through the campaign, she was heavily scrutinized, um heavily talked about in the news. Pictures were drawn about her. Uh people called her ugly, called her unfashionable, called her over overly opinionated, uh, talked about her bad. And not that it's funny, but it's just like whatever the news could say about her, uh, that was demeaning to her character, her as a woman, and her as a person, they they found it, they looked, they got it, they put it out there, and they had no uh quorum or cooth about saying what it is that they wanted to say about this woman, and especially if it was bad or negative. Um, but you know, while thinking about the practice of becoming, she continued to to move forward and um to become the person that she wanted to be when it came to supporting uh her her husband through the administration and also supporting her people um while showing up in communities and being out there and uh doing the work that she wanted to do when it came to um what needed to be done. Um and so just watching that was um it was interesting for me because uh me working in the space that I work in and having to uh evolve and change and be in a predominantly in a predominant white space, uh, especially in a heavy political space, um, I often have to become something different every day to in order to continue to move, maneuver and move on, right? And when we think about when I think about that in practice, it looks like many different things. You know, it could be me um coming in one day and being super positive, coming in one day and being um to myself, coming in one day and all I'm listening to is music all day to get through the day or to get my work done. Um, you know, it looks different. And I think when you in uh in thinking about how Michelle had to exist in this space and through that, through those moments, um it looked like you know, her having to let go of a role that defined her publicly, uh reclaiming parts of herself that um have been muted, uh, learning how to exist outside of a constant surveillance, and also being able to have the opportunity to go the fuck outside without security, you know. Um, and it just and she talks about all of this. Um, and it just resonates deeply, especially for you know, me being black, me being gay, and me being a creative, um and stepping into being in this world, especially in you know, the HR world, the DEI world, the creative world, the fashion world, all of that, you know, the point is, you know, being able to be a symbol, most people want you to be a symbol before they want you to be a human. And you kind of have to find that good middle ground, right? So, um, you know, how are you gonna check back in with yourself at the end of the day to say, I'm still this out here in the media and on wherever, but at the end of the day, I take all how are we gonna take all that off and still be this and you at the same time, right? And I think that's the becoming piece because that's the becoming of figuring out balance uh and figuring out how to not let all of that make you um something that you're not, right? It's like what uh in Players Club, Ebony make the money. But don't let it make you, right? Um but I in all in all, I think with the documentary and with the becoming and with this, um it uh it reframes you know how us as people uh endure, especially black people, endure different things uh when we're trying to accomplish um supporting different things in our lives, um when we are trying to move initiatives forward, and we know there are people out there who don't back the shit that we support as well. Um and I think she made it clear that you know you don't have to abandon yourself to serve others, uh, you don't have to be emotionally honest without being fragile, and you can also lead without replicating harm. So, you know, which I think that's a big one because I think when we talk about this um this Nicki Minaj situation. Fuck um, when we talk about this Nicki Minaj situation, I feel like, you know, I don't know what or which group she's trying to lead, but she's definitely harming the people that got her to where she is today. And um it's it's sad to watch this be the hill that she dies on, uh, because I've always saw Nikki as a supporter of the uh the gay LGBTQIA plus community, and then I've always then saw on the flip side how people have said she's a liar, that's not who she really is, she's putting on the show for y'all. And then now to be here and know everything that has transpired and how everything has essentially fallen apart and how she's become this this dictator, um, it's crazy to me. And so when you think about Michelle Obama, you think about becoming, you think about us as people of color, queer, gay, whichever, however, you did identify, and wanting to be leaders and wanting to continue to celebrate black history and wanting to continue to celebrate queer black history or clear queer history in general. Um it's important to know how you want to show up and do that. Um it's okay to have to have a different view. It's okay to be wanting to support in different capacities and in different ways. Um, but I really think it's important to ask yourself what it is that you how are you gonna show up today, and how are you going to support the groups that you need to support, especially when it comes to um the community that you fall within. So and I think that was also one of the biggest uh themes of this becoming documentary. With all that being said, um and when I the reason that I wanted to uh talk about this documentary and talk about Michelle Obama is because really and truly she is um she is a superhero to the black community, and her so is her husband, and uh especially to black women. Um, and she continues to do the work and continues to be a figure for uh the community. Uh, she reminds us that leadership doesn't have to be loud um to be powerful. Um, and in this documentary, she also uh we can see kind of the gentleness um in the way she retreated to be who she wanted to be or becoming who she wanted to be and doing it with intention, um, and choosing to leave without losing herself in the process and choosing who um how she wanted to be seen, also without losing herself in the process. Um so all in all, I think it was a fantastic documentary. It's only like an hour and 30 minutes long. Um, it had some great messaging. I hope I did a good job with, you know, kind of just talking about it a few different things, but also celebrating her at the same time. Um so if you haven't watched it already, go watch it, go check it out, and um, you know, let me know what you think. Uh, we're gonna take a quick break and then we will be right back. Bye. Hey y'all, if you like what you heard, make sure you join the conversation. We always say to make sure to like, comment, and subscribe, and we definitely want you to do that. But also, we would love if you would join in with us. There's a link in the description where you can actually send us messages. You can also make sure to tag us on social media, click us to your favorite clips of the show, and then tag us and we will repost them on our stories. That is the best way to get in communicate communication or community with us, and we would love to see y'all interact with the content. Anyway, thank you for following us and thank you for listening, and we'll see you back for the remainder of the show. Bye. And we are back. So, um, in this also this episode, I wanted to kind of highlight some black-owned businesses. So, you all know that I live in San Diego, so um San Diego does have a um pretty large uh catalog, catalog of black-owned businesses, and um I follow Mystic Critiques on Instagram or um Mish Kitch underscore critiques on Instagram, and she provided a list of different black-owned businesses in San Diego. So all of my San Diego folks that are listening, um, I'm gonna have Mike edit this into uh when he clips this, and he'll put the at this in the in the clip as well. But just to name a few of some of these black-owned businesses, she did a two-part and it has like restaurants, it has uh um bakeries and suites, uh, has some shops that you all can uh look into, and um they're all black-owned. Uh so a couple of them I do know, like for instance, um uh kebab craft, who actually it is a place in Liberty Station, and um we're using them at my job for an event that we're having. Um, I've worked and looked at with Maya's cookies before. Um, there's also the Mesa SD, there's Coop's West Texas Barbecue, One World B Crab Cafe, uh Sucker Free, Shot Collar, Um Ayana Sweets, Freshly Baked, Nomad's Donuts. Uh, I think it's Meetries Delights is another one. Uh, some shops is Dirt Don't Hurt, uh, Lily Couture, Five Space, Freshly Faded, Chula Vista Brewing, uh, which I've been to before, and The Mental Barn. Um, and then she, like I mentioned, she did a part two. And in the part two, there is um Fla Flavors of East Africa, which we've used at work before, uh Felix's Barbecue, which we've used at work before, Louisiana Purchase, which I've been to a couple of different times, Surf and Souls, Skinny MS, K Lockhee, uh Biba's restaurant, uh Bankhead, Mississippi, which we've used at work before, mom's chicken and waffles, which I've been to a business um event, and they have mama's uh chicken and waffles. Uh Chef uh Chef Babuda Balasian Sofu. I said that completely wrong, but you get the message. Um, Michael Brady, IQ BBQ. We've used uh bow-legged barbecue at work at my uh company before, Lucy Mays Kitchen. Um, and then some of the shops were pre-dreams, iris studio Jewelry, Shore and Sage Market, Illustrated Melanin, Gavin Luxe, uh Diva Art and Style, uh, Borden Um Borden Bougie Love Milk Afro Beat San Diego, which I need to look into this Afrobeat San Diego, Shea Butter Love, Spark Kendall and Co. The SD and Brand. And there's a couple more coffee shops on this other one. Cafe Coffee, Twin Brown, um Crounded Body Care, Nina Makes Scents, Christopher Key, Soul Sint, Julia May's Kitchen, Savage Bee Cheese, uh, Berlin's Beauty Supply, All-in-One Collection. And then there's also health ones on here. So there's like Visionary Dinners Detail, uh, Dental Arts, Movement Matters Collective, Tribe Fitness Club, Embodied, Back to Eden, Legend, Barbershop, Sandal was skin, Alex Johnson Sport and Fitness, Continued Beauty Lounge, ETE Fitness, Josie's, Chemo, Skin and Scalp Health, Solar Path Wellness, and then there's some bakeries, uh, Cravings Cookies, uh, Mama Son's Cookies, Chrissy's Cupboard, Straight Up Cake, Thomas Crane, Kyoto Coast Matcha, Cheese Butter Cookies, Pastry by Jasmine, which I was just looking at her uh business of the day, Love and Baked, Extraordinary Banana Pudding, which I've heard they, I believe this is the one that's in Chula Vista. Um, and that's it. So again, we'll link this post in our post when we click this. But through Black History Month, make sure you're supporting Black businesses, especially all the different varieties that are out there. and all the ones that um are trying to get out there. So, you know, you listening today is supporting a black business. But yeah, I just want to shout out some of those and wanted to uh especially me being in San Diego and um support have supported some of those businesses in the past and continue to every uh Black History Month and also through me just being in San Diego whenever I can get to them I go and support. So make sure to check those out um because we here and we out here. I feel like one of the things that I looked for as soon as I moved to San Diego was um like our the black community here, the businesses that black people own here um and although it's taken me some time to find them and to you know get acclimated but um I've done my best and continue will continue to do that especially when it comes to uh finding the businesses and connecting with them here in San Diego as much as possible. Um with that uh I have pulled a card uh so we can go ahead and move into uh reading our affirmation to wrap up the rest of the show so I pulled the acupuncturist card if you can see if you're watching and can see oh and then these are my black history month nails the gold thing um so it says I cultivate a deep sense of self-worth and self-love when I honor my name and it says it says the acupunctures cause you to be mindful of your life's flow of energy and balance you may be so focused on your career that aspects of your well-being and personal life have taken a toll and this is starting to impact the way you show up in the world it's time to set boundaries and redistribute redistribute your energy so there are no neglected areas cultivate awareness of how your thoughts and emotions affect your energy effort and perspective in certain aspects of your life don't be afraid to apply the pressure you have the capacity and ability to create and experience significant shifts and breakthroughs with focused intentional and determined action and the writing prompt says how can asserting your boundaries and communicating your needs demonstrate your self-respect and reinforce your self-worth interestingly enough if you remember uh the episode that I um that came out at the beginning of the year talks about redistributing energy uh setting boundaries um talks about also uh having to reevaluate where you put your energy this year um and here it is coming up again uh and it's only February so I for me I have been thinking on this but I've not come to any conclusions so I don't even know um I don't even know I have been drawing boundaries I've been drawing more boundaries at work I have been um drawing boundaries and making sure that I'm in a way meaning with this meaning just being more organized rather than doing so many things at the last minute um and those boundaries are important because then it gives me more time to put my energy in other places and um to show up differently in in other areas in my life so yeah I may do this prompt and maybe I will come back and um and read it. Maybe that's an opportunity anyway thank you for listening um happy black history month I hope you all continue to stay safe out there celebrate this month celebrate for the rest of the year um and be safe thank you by the way