Hella Chisme Podcast
Hella Chisme Podcast is a production where Dana and Stefanie sit together with their favorite cocktails and talk about their day-to-day lives. They will cover a wide variety of topics like sex, dating, marriage, pop culture, spirituality and more. The Hella Chisme Podcast will have audio and visual releases every Friday across all major platforms. It's gonna be hella fun.
Hella Chisme Podcast
34 going on 13
Welcome back to a new episode of the Hella Chisme Podcast, This week, we dive deep into the contrast between childhood dreams of adulthood and the harsh realities we face today. We explore how societal expectations, financial pressures, and cultural influences shape our understanding of what it means to be an adult, while emphasizing the importance of protecting our peace and setting boundaries amidst the chaos of adult life.
LINK: https://linktr.ee/hellachismepodcast
hey y'all. I just wanted to let you know that we have a patreon channel. That's right. If you did not know, we are on patreon. Our patreon is $8.99 a month, where you can come and watch all of our visual elements to our podcast show. So all you have to do is click the link in our description box and it will take you right there. It's only $8.99 a month. Make sure you go and subscribe. Bye, welcome back to another episode of the Hella Cheesemade Podcast. My name is Dana.
Speaker 3:And I'm Stephanie.
Speaker 1:And we are reporting live. Well, I'm reporting live from gay Disneyland, honey, and welcome back to another episode of the Hella Cheese Made podcast. My name is Dana and we are your host. Yes, as you can hope, I think you can see and or tell that we are on a new platform. We have officially decided to use Riverside, which know. We will just see how things go. I've heard really good things about it and I can tell the difference right now from using it of just like how clear and how good everything looks. So I'm kind of liking it already, but we'll see.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can definitely tell with the camera quality, like immediately.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, yeah, and that was one of our, one of the things that Mike was telling us he was like. You know, it's just a really good camera quality. It makes the pictures look really clear. I'm really obsessed with how the backgrounds look right now, like I really love that, and so I'm hoping that with our new one that we created not the one that we're using right now, this is a stock one we actually have one created. It looks just as good with. You know how they have everything set up on the platform.
Speaker 1:But happy Monday.
Speaker 3:Yes, happy Monday.
Speaker 1:We are recording officially on MLK Day, which, if you are not living under a rock, you know, luther King Jr's Day of Recognition and Day of Celebration. How are we feeling? How are we doing? Let's just get into it.
Speaker 3:First of all, the irony of that is crazy that his inauguration was on this day. But I'm feeling about the inauguration itself and it happening is. It's a little nerve-wracking, honestly, like just because it's so weird to me how tiktok was shut down and then all of a sudden, um, it was brought back up and all over. It was like thanks, thanks to our president, our president, and he wasn't even technically our president at the time, and then now a lot of things on it are very filtered. I don't know if you've noticed, I'm like there's no live option. You can't go live on TikTok in the United States anymore. And they're saying you know there's a lot of marches happening, protests, and people are unable to live stream these things, which so happened, you know, right for the day of inauguration, which is crazy. I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I don't know how to feel, I feel, you know, like my hands are tied.
Speaker 1:I mean your hands aren't tied. I think you're just at the point. You don't have any, we don't. We don't have any real control over what's happening or what's going on. You know, I think yeah 100 percent. So I just looked at you can still. Still, I've been seeing people going live. I think when, when it first got turned back on, you could not go live for sure, but now you can really yeah, as of when today I was looking at right now on top.
Speaker 3:So on this top here, I don't know what video, this is but if you look up here, there's no live option oh, you can't click on lives and you can't. Yeah, so you can't go live uh, you yeah you can. There's no like live for you page. Yes, you can't go live, you're right. But there's no like remember before there was like a live uh-huh like you can go through people's lives you have to like search.
Speaker 1:I don't know I think they just updated that well, so what I was going to say was that you know, some people are saying that they were updating their servers during the time I do. Here's the thing I think that they were having they knew that this was going to shut down. They were planning for that, but then it also gave them the opportunity to do some updates, because I think they knew immediately that they were going to be brought back up, because they knew trump was going to be kind of the savior of tiktok moving forward.
Speaker 1:Um even though he signed to bennett even though he's the one who started to sign to bannett, which is beyond, I think, and I don't, and which the funny part to me is that I don't think people realize or don't read enough to understand that that's exactly what was happening, but I'm like this man is literally putting himself in a space to be the savior as something that he was talking about banning in the first place it's called gaslighting.
Speaker 1:Guys google it yeah, the same thing your man is doing to you right now. Girl, you letting another man in the office do it to you. Oh, I hate that for you in 2025 yeah, it's crazy, but yeah, what can we do? This is where we're at um.
Speaker 1:One of my colleagues sent me a um article because there's been a conversation that he has a hundred brand new executive orders that are going to go into office, uh, or go in or sign off on day one, which is today, and the beginning of the article says president trump, on monday, plans to sign executive orders proclaiming that the US government will recognize only two sexes, so male and female, and ending radical and wasteful diversity, equity and inclusion programs inside federal agencies, according to senior White House officials, which I'm like it's frustrating, especially being someone who works in DEI. It's like I don't think people understand what it means when we talk about diversity, equity and inclusion and then, in the way it's being taken out of context when we're, in this form, taking it out of federal agencies or not, I think Amazon has now taken it out of I can't remember the language, but has taken it out of the work that they're doing, uh, when it comes to, uh, their workers, and I just be like people be so stupid. Um, again, this is where we're at.
Speaker 3:I think for me, um, one of the things that is standing out is like the mass deportations and like the way they did it last time he was in office. I feel like it's going to be like that, but on steroids, where they were just like breaking up, literally like children from their parents and you know just families and stuff.
Speaker 3:And I understand right Because you know I have family members that either came in one way or another and have gone through the process, others that didn't, and either way, I think that it's very inhumane to separate children from their parents and family and stuff. And that is for me the scary part, because I know the fear in Latinos a lot of Latinos or immigrants that they have with a border patrol agent and ICE and how they detain them and just it's the way they detain them and the quality in which they detain them when they're in those facilities is just very inhumane and all of that is just super like, I don't know, scary. It is scary like you wonder if there's gonna be like these you know, refugee style camps.
Speaker 3:Because absolutely you know that's it. Something like that happened last time he was in office. Didn't it like some sort of camp or like I don't know something?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I mean I tried to block it out of my mind so I can't think of exactly yeah, yeah, exactly what. But just the kids yeah. I want it, I want something so much different for us and you know this new world we're going into not to get all woo-woo, but I know you love this but this is like people are saying that this we're going into the new world Like this is going to be the new age of the united states that we're headed into and to um.
Speaker 1:You know, this is when people were talking about how we were going to turn into. Uh, what's that show that was on, um, was it amazon prime, the handmaid's tale and, like you know, ultra religious america. Um, and you know, kind of trying to eliminate the rate the black and people of color, the rate different types of races in america, and you all voted this into office anyway. On another note, how has your weekend been so far? What's been going?
Speaker 3:on um my weekend. It was pretty good. It was like it was busy. My niece had a birthday party yesterday and it was like at nine in the morning so we were just asking my cousin. A hard time I'm like. Now you're having a birthday party at sunrise on a sunday where was it at? At their house. They made like breakfast and stuff a little brunch party yeah I love that yeah, it was cute. And then, um, the day before saturday, I do?
Speaker 3:oh, I visited my dad and just see how he's doing and everything. And then I went to the gym and, um, yeah, friday, what did I do friday? Oh friday, my son had a practice with a professional, a baseball player from yucatan mexico. He was here and he did like meet and greets with the kids and then he did like he had like a small group of selected kids and then he did like hitting lessons with them and stuff. So he got to meet him and take pictures and stuff so that was cute yeah yeah I love that.
Speaker 1:That's cute. Also, the weather has not been amazing this past weekend it's been so cold yes, it was warm last night, but it has been freezing my, we have a cold wave coming in too right that's what they keep saying, but when I tell you the other day. I looked at um, I looked at it. I didn't really see much of a difference look for next week. Okay, so starting after friday, that saturday it is going to be cold. The lows are for in the fees and the highs are in the 60s and 50s.
Speaker 3:So that makes sense yeah, like where I'm at my highs are gonna be like 56 yeah, okay and I'm like what that makes sense and you know.
Speaker 1:You know what's been going on with our heat. So we've, our heat has essentially been blowing out cold air, so we? Oh, I didn't know um oh, so that's why I reached out, I asked you. And so since christmas, I guess, is when it started, and you know we weren't here for christmas and then we were here and when it happened, while we were here, we put a new filter in there in the little uh ac system and so after that it was working fine, but then, as the last couple of days it had been blowing out cold air, and so then we had somebody come out and that person didn't find anything.
Speaker 1:And then when we had BD come, he went up thermostat and then he's thinking that he after that we should change and update how our gas line is to the furnace. Mind you, I just finished my bathroom. The day the day we finished our bathroom, our sink started to leak and started shooting. So the sink started to back up into the sink, no, in the kitchen.
Speaker 1:Oh my, the sink started to back up into the sink and so there was all kind of water and shit in the sink for hella long. So then we had another friend come over and look at the sink, so he fixed it. The next morning the water is shooting out of the cabinet from the bottom of the sink because the faucet is also leaking, so we had to replace our sink this weekend.
Speaker 1:So it's been all kind of shit going on. It's like home improvement things, like I'm like we said we just needed our bathroom fixed. We didn't need to be to for our house to read us and let us know everything needs to be fixed and replaced, like so, but the gas line to the furnace, it shouldn't be too big of a no no, and there must be, he can get you like a nice one, like that I'm gonna order one off of ammy oh okay, and get one there and I have them install it.
Speaker 3:I'm probably gonna get a nest. You know the little uh-huh.
Speaker 1:That's what I have, and then, um, I get a nest and then do that, and then essentially what he's saying for the gas line is just he's gonna kind of um, put something new in to uh because he said it's supposed to be a t and it's like I don't know what it looks like up there, to be honest, but he, it's supposed to be a T, but he should, he should, we should replace it because that's not what it is. That's not how it's set up currently.
Speaker 3:Essentially, Was there someone like a professional company that did it?
Speaker 1:That installed it. Yeah, as far as I know. I don't know how long Paris has had it in there, but I know it was a professional company that did install it and did do it.
Speaker 3:It's so hard when you have it's like bittersweet being a homeowner. You know like yeah, because it's not like an apartment where you can like call and be like hey, water, like water's's leaking or hey, the thing is backed up like you have to figure it out or you have to pay the whole thing out of pocket, you know yeah, no, yeah, yeah, so there's that.
Speaker 1:So we'll see how that goes and I'll wake up, um. So, yes, but so this episode we are going to be going through having a really good conversation, um, I think. Uh, well, I don't know that we've mentioned, but since being back, stephanie and I both have been re-watching Sex and the City. So today's episode is kind of inspired around Sex and the City. We will at some point come back and do kind of like a whole recap, because this is Stephanie's first time watching Sex and the City, but that will happen at a later date. But, um, we'll take a break and then we will come back and get into this week's conversation.
Speaker 3:Bye hey guys, just wanted to come on here and remind you that we still are on patreon and if you would like to see all of the visual content and for future, present and past episodes, then you would want to subscribe to that. It's about $8 a month, but for real life updates and behind the scenes clips and you know updates, surveys, polls. Make sure you are following us on Instagram, at HelloCheeseMedPod and YouTube HelloCheeseMedPodcast. We do lives and other. You know events and stuff like that that you want to definitely be part of, so go ahead and follow us on there and stream us on Apple Podcasts, google Podcasts, spotify or whatever podcast streaming service you prefer. And thank you, guys, for tuning in.
Speaker 1:And we are back. So this week is going to be an interesting episode. As I mentioned, we have been watching Sex and the City and really what triggered this thought and idea for this episode was the episode of the show where we all know that Samantha is a. She is a employee relations, Employee relations- public relation public relations.
Speaker 1:Public relations, uh, professional, and she owns her own like public relations business. Right? So I was watching the episode where she, this little 13 year old girl, ends up booking her to be her pr person for her bar mitzvah. That was coming up and essentially this little girl was just, I mean, cursing, talking about her boyfriend, talking about how sex is so important and for and like her teenage friends. Specifically the episode, I mean the, specifically the scene in the episode where these girls see Samantha and Carrie and Miranda and Charlotte at a restaurant and walk up to them and, like their cell phones, start going off. And then the girls talking about how Carrie is so fucking fabulous and she loves her column and all the things.
Speaker 1:And so it just triggered a thought for me, thinking about, like when I was a teenager and just how you know how bad wanting to grow up and be grown and be an adult, mostly so I can get out there and, you know, party in the streets, but also because I just, you know, I've never been good with authority and I hate it when you know people telling me what to do.
Speaker 1:So I wanted to get to a space, to where I was, you know, in charge of all the things that I wanted to do. And then now being an adult and looking back on that, like I wish I was a child again, you know. So then I didn't have all the responsibilities, so I kind of wanted to have that conversation of you know. What was it about being an adult that was appealing to us? And then now, you know, focusing a lot on, you know, things that are nostalgic and the social expectations of us now being adults, and then also just like, about how culture shapes the perception of who we are and the different ages, age groups that we fall in. And, yeah, just there. But to start, just what are your immediate thoughts?
Speaker 3:like you know, before we take a deep dive, Like when I first saw that, it was like, yeah, like I remember same thing, like I didn't do well with psych authority either and I think just wanting to like be out and, like you know, be able to party or be with my friends, or just, like you know, run my own life, I guess, and do things my way, or quote unquote like better, you know because, you think you can do it better and everything like that.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I mean, and then also, you know, thinking about the fact that you have kids, I mean, you know, and at some point, well, I feel like now they're already at that point to where they're like you know my son junior has a cell phone and you know, like amaya's walk around her little princess heels. You know it's just. It's like I'm just thinking about the littlest things, right, like all of that at some point as you become an adult, becomes a bigger things for you as you get more into your adulthood, yeah, um it's scary so
Speaker 3:when you think of it like that, like your own kids. You're like, oh my god, but it's very, very scary um so thinking about when you were a kid.
Speaker 1:What did adulthood mean to you as a kid like, what did it look like for you and what um? What did you think it was?
Speaker 3:um, okay, like my child idea. Um, I would say like my child idea of adulthood is like you go to this job and you have a cool job and you have cool outfits to your cool job and you just go in there like sitting there typing some shit, and um that you have your own house and you just pay your house and, um, I like your cool car and you can go and do whatever you want whenever you want. That was my idea of adulthood.
Speaker 1:So like jobs and cool cars and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and like my own space, my own house and like I can go out and travel with my friends and party with my friends whenever I want, you know. Yeah, that was my idea. Yeah, and travel with my friends and party with my friends whenever I want you know, yeah, yeah, that was right, yeah, I mean, I guess.
Speaker 1:So work wasn't always at the front of my mind, which I guess knowing, if, like you, knowing me, probably would make sense, because I'm always just like girl, I'm like, I never considered as a kid, um, just like.
Speaker 1:I would say, maybe not until like 12 13 where I would, where I considered adulthood and being able to do all the things you wanted to do became a thing because you had to work for the money and had to work to be able to do all the things that we were doing. Never considered that, never really gave a fuck. I just was like I want what I want when I want it. Now you know. So it was when I got older, obviously, that I understood that oh, you have to work for everything that you get which you know.
Speaker 1:Ok, now, obviously Right. But I think for me, I always look at like, like homes, and being in a space of, you know, grandeur and having like a nice house that had all the things in it and furniture nicely furnished, that had all the things in it and furniture nicely furnished. I've never, ever been a real car person, even though some of my siblings and people around me were all car people. I looked at adulthood in the space of, okay, as an adult, I can have my own home, I can have a nice home, I could decorate it how I want, and clothes and shoes, and you know those are the things I looked at the most. And then also, obviously, independence, right, you know.
Speaker 1:I wanted the independence I wanted to be able to make my own decisions, do whatever I wanted to do and then also have whatever career path that I wanted to choose, which, would you know, move me into all of the things that I mentioned, like you know, homes and shoes and fashion and all that stuff.
Speaker 3:Homes for me was a thing too, yeah like your house like, decorate your house how you want. Um, I was always like, uh, like you know, like, oh, I want to be like a mom and, like you know, stuff like that and now I'm like these kids. No, just kidding I mean no, but it's just crazy. Like your mind is so innocent at that age you know so you paint this image of like what you think you know, based on like what you see, what's instilled in you like your own experiences with your parents or you know family examples you pick up on and stuff like that no-transcript.
Speaker 1:And then you know me growing up and doing the exact same things to where I'm like. Well, my job asks me if I can stay longer, so I'm going to stay, you know, or I'm working overnight tonight, because if I work this six day I'm getting double time you know.
Speaker 1:So it's like all of those things you know. As you become an adult, you start to realize you know, fuck, I wanted to be this adult. So bad, but baby, look at what I'm going to do. To be this adult so bad, but baby, look at what I'm gonna do to be this adult.
Speaker 3:I know I also like my dad. He has always driven trucks, like all the men a lot of the majority of the men in my family always drove trucks and my dad would take me to the yards, like where they park the trucks and all that stuff, or my dad would have to leave for a couple days at a time my mom, you know, always working, like everyone in my family, you know, mexicans always keep a job honey so you know, that was always like instilled in me as well, and yeah I mean, but it's.
Speaker 1:It's good though, right like I think, for me now. Um, I often talk about, you know it's great that you know my husband and I both have a career and I know he's older than me, but I know that there will never be a point where I'm not working um, because I actually enjoy working.
Speaker 1:I enjoy keeping busy. I enjoy doing projects. I enjoy keeping busy, I enjoy doing projects. I enjoy, you know, working on new things. I love to do that. It's just, I just enjoy doing it and that's just always been a thing I think. Also just thinking about, you know, the times that we grew up in and how movies and music videos and magazines, you know also influenced how we saw, how we saw adulthood and how we saw, um, just being in the world, um and thinking of just like kind of that nostalgia, what were like some movies for you that was like, oh my god, I want to be this person when I grow up um movies, and it doesn't have to be movies, movies like tv shows and
Speaker 3:you know artists and stuff like that I was always like a fan of like. Like I liked sandra bullock like in her movies and stuff. Growing up like miss congeniality was like a cool movie and okay, so not pretty woman.
Speaker 1:You did not want to be a prostitute.
Speaker 3:Now that I'm older I like that movie, but yeah, like just sandra bullock and then, um, like I'm trying to think like women, examples, it's because younger too, like I would watch novellas and stuff and so maybe that's why I'm like dramatic sometimes.
Speaker 3:No, so I feel like it was like different parts. Because I was, my aunt played like a huge role in that for me, I think think because she was a homemaker always would have her own business, whether it was a bridal shop or selling her own bakery products, cleaning her house clean and cute. She was always a super big someone that inspired me or you know that I looked up to um what other movies, uh, I don't know. It's because back then it was like cartoon, a lot of cartoons.
Speaker 1:I feel like what were some of your favorite cartoons?
Speaker 3:like as a like. I used to watch like lizzie mcguire and then like uh, ginger, remember ginger? Um, that was a cute one. Um, I used to like rocket power was pretty cool I love rocket power rocket power was cool and hey Arnold. I feel like those were like a lot of what I watched.
Speaker 1:I mean, but even still, like those kids were super independent, a good portion of them. Like you know. They caught the bus. They walked to school. Rocket Power was all about skateboarding right, yeah. And so he rode his skateboard to school every day. So I think it's also just like you know, even just thinking about cartoons and like the shows, those type of shows.
Speaker 1:I think it also showed a different perspective of what you know our parents were doing for us as kids. Me and Martel did not start riding the bark to school and or walking to school until we got into high school.
Speaker 1:Yes, and so you know, for a minute, it really was just like my parents was like we can't, um y'all not, we'll drop you off wherever you gotta go. It wasn't until it really was hard for them to, you know, because at one point we lived in oakland or lived in concord and was going to school in san leandro or concord or vice versa, right, so it was like physically impossible for them to get us to school unless we got there on our own, I mean, and then or it was just super dangerous for us to like walk or for us to get on the bus.
Speaker 1:You know, or Martel was just like I'm not getting on the bus and I was in the same way. I was like what the fuck do you mean get on the bus? I'm not doing that shit, that shit's ghetto.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I never rode the bus. And then, like when I was in high school, my dad like he sold cars for a while.
Speaker 3:Or like, was in high school, my dad like he sold cars for a while and so, or like he would buy them in the auctions and then sell them. Uh, that's when craigslist was like you know, everyone would buy cars and everything on craigslist. So like that's when I started driving myself to school in high school and I would have like different cars and stuff that he was selling. So, yeah, I didn't. But yeah, like you said, the independence is what I looked up to. Like the mom on Rugrats too, like that one Angelica's mom it was, I think.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, because she had like a Mercedes. Yeah, I think she was like a Samantha.
Speaker 3:She was like a boss chick. Yeah, she's like a Samantha. Yeah, she think she was like a Samantha. She was like a boss chick. Yeah, she's like a Samantha.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's like a boss chick, I don't remember. Angelica did not have a dad that was at home with her, it was just the mom I thought. I think, so, I think, I think so Were there any adults that you idolized as a kid?
Speaker 3:Idolized? No, not really Like women. Guys, no, not really like women. I used to like share. You know what I used to love share. I used to like I had the share cd, so I would like sing share. I'd be like dad sit down and watch me sing and then like I would sing the share songs or like, but it was other than that.
Speaker 3:It was a lot of like boy bands and, like you know, and Spice Girls. That was like I looked up to. The Spice Girls, yeah, I think those are like the women I, you know, grew up with I love that yeah. What about you?
Speaker 1:Um, adults that I idolized at that age. For me, eh, I think it was just more like the people around me. I mean, my cousins were all older than me, so, and my siblings obviously, but I idolized them all because I just wanted to go hang out.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:I think I've always been destined to be a little bit of a partier person.
Speaker 1:And then as I got older and realized that life is just it's hardcore, so you know. So essentially all of the adults that were around me, I was like I just want to be them and do everything that they're doing when I grow up. But not understanding that, you know, I think, not understanding the inner rebel too. Right, Like a lot of them, a lot of the people around us and the adults do what they do because they're just like I'm so tired of being underneath my parents, them, yeah um, because parents are overprotective, and you know.
Speaker 1:So what was?
Speaker 3:your. So what was your experience of? Like overprotectiveness? And then I'll speak on mine and like growing up in oakland and back then that's when gangs were like I feel like gang shit was like heavy because it was not a lot of cameras and phones and you know like you could actually freaking, get away with things easier versus you know now so what was that?
Speaker 1:like um, so I mean, essentially it was like you know, you can go out and play, but get your ass in the house before the street lights come on was a lot of it. And then my mom and parents, always being clear and understanding of who every person I was hanging out with or on the phone with or being around, and my dad essentially like y'all can't do nothing, like you know, like anything that pertains to us leaving the house or going to the movies or doing anything he was just like not about it, which I understand now is just because it's like it was just too much going on you know, like kids being kidnapped, which is always still a thing, and, you know, people being weird, which is still a thing as well.
Speaker 1:But mostly, just like you know, I just want my kids to be at home and if I know they are home, I know they say you know there was an incident when I was a kid where, or a couple of times, a couple of different kids got shot on the street that I lived on, not too far from my house, like literally within like a couple of feet of walking distance on each end. You know they used to do side shows and donuts right at my corner on both ends. So you know, it's just. I think, when we talk about just overprotectedness, it was just more so, like you know, if y'all in the house and I know y'all good, and I just need to know where y'all at all the time, every day and at all times. So yeah there was that.
Speaker 1:And then, once I became like a teenager, it was even worse, because I'm pretty sure my dad knew I was hot in the ass and I was trying to get out there and see what was hot. I'm like, I'm trying to see.
Speaker 3:See the world I'm trying to throw it back who's gonna catch it? I think for me, like, as you know, like a Latina, a female.
Speaker 3:I think my dad was very like, very protective of me, very like on my ass, like it was like that. But then again, like I would be staying at my aunt's house, like for long periods of time with my cousins, you know, but that was because he knew like she would like keep me safe and stuff like that, and I think, or like say with my grandma and things like that. So yeah, and then I think as I got older, like a teenager, then it was more like my dad was kind of straight out with me. I was like hey, guys are gonna tell you like whatever you want to hear, like you know, and by that point I was already like she's like I don't give a fuck, I'm
Speaker 1:trying to hear it like right, like I want to hear what they gotta say, please sneaking my my flip phone under the blanket talking at night. Oh my gosh girl, if you're listening sorry.
Speaker 1:I feel like you know, but this, I feel like when we have our episode about nostalgia like, this is like a good point, right like just things. Because when you again, when you talk about like pop culture, pop culture in the movies, like clueless um I mean, lil' Kim was out around that time, trina, you know, all they used to talk about was just, like you know, having a side phone.
Speaker 1:Missy Elliott, like you know, having some side pieces doing all the things, if we're talking about idolization, I think that what I idolized about those people was their sense of independence and you know how they made it clear, like you know, just hurt these motherfuckers feelings and be free and like they were free, like they would wear more revealing outfits.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, um. So I think the other piece is just thinking about, um, like what do you know? I think we've talked a little bit about like what made it magical for us what we saw and kind of what we just thought was like you know, some things that stood out to us. But now, I guess, looking at adulthood and looking at just some solutions, what were some things, that some problems that stood out for us that we now know?
Speaker 3:uh, and solutions that we've created for those, some of those issues um, I would say, like the first thing that comes to my mind, in my situation, like my experience growing up, I feel like it was more old school to believe that you had to stay in like a marriage or like in keep your family together, or else it was, like you know, frowned upon or you know it just divorces didn't really happen back then, Like that wasn't really like an option or like a thing back then 100%, I would definitely.
Speaker 1:I want to pick you back off of that and just also say like just the overall concept of marriage at that point in time was very marriage, and having children and then building a family was completely different than it is now. And the thought was that you know you stick through your partner through anything. You guys make sure that you figure out a way to continue to move forward and all the things. But at what point do we start to think about ourselves in these relationships and or the things that we're going through in these relationships?
Speaker 1:in order to continue to be able to move them forward. Right, and I think that's a foreign concept when we with people now, nowadays or not nowadays, I'm sorry, then and versus what's happening nowadays.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think another one too. It just slipped my mind. I think another one too is like not talking about certain things, or like yes you know, like, hey, like, oh, you don't talk about these things or this things here and this. You know, like, and I think now things are much more like, spoken about and more open and, like you know, you're empowered to speak on your experiences or whatever. Just, I think that has changed a lot as well and I think you know it's great, I think it's great I would agree it's a solution to a lot of things.
Speaker 1:Well, and I also think open mindedness is a solution to a lot of things as well and which could help a lot of people in the perspectives that everybody has essentially. So moving and switching gears right contrast between childhood dreams and adult realities are just where we are, where we were then, where we are now, different financial pressures and societal expectations of what we should be doing and how we should be as adults. I think these conversations happen consistently, especially generational-wise, because, for whatever reason, there's a lot of hate on the millennials, which I think I also, which frustrates me. It truly frustrates me when people be like you millennials blah, blah, blah. And I'm like I don't. I think that people don't realize the broad spectrum in which millennials lie and how far into the 2000s millennials lie and we're not all the same when it comes to the millennials so that's one thing.
Speaker 1:But just thinking about where we are are today, which I think we've talked a little bit about, but what's been like? Why is it so? Why is adulthood so overwhelming these days? What do you think?
Speaker 3:why don't we begin that? I mean, um, I think, because, um, uh, I think, I think. So to me, so to me it's like, first of all, everything's expensive as fuck.
Speaker 3:So to me it's like, first of all, everything's expensive as fuck, say that. Second of all, I think, like when you're exposed to so much and you're like you're hyper aware and you're like educated and like you're, you catch on to things, like it takes a toll on you, like it's good but it's also like it's bitter. It's a double edged sword because you're like it's good but then you're so like hyper aware of things and you're like it's stressful. And then I think also like the roles, as you know, women and men, like as a straight you know, woman, like it's, it's different now, back then a lot of women could stay at home, or, like it was like single income households could survive, you know and now that's like not really a.
Speaker 3:Thing it's very difficult, yeah, I agree with you? I, yes, yeah and now, and honestly I don't want to say that, but like and honestly I don't want to say it, but like men be getting so zesty now.
Speaker 1:I think men has always been zesty.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but they're just more open with it and I just be like I can't, but that's good.
Speaker 1:I feel like, tell me, show me who you are up front. Yeah, you know like why, don't hide it, let's see it, see it, pull it out, let me see. Right now I want to see you, I want to make show me who you are up front. So then that gives you a decision to decide if that's really what you want to deal with, for however long time you want to deal with it yeah, because that's. I mean, I was about to say something toxic and I'm not going to Say it.
Speaker 3:No, I'm saying it you made me say it.
Speaker 1:I just feel like I get so frustrated because I feel like stop showing presenting your representative, which my favesaves. They talk about this all the time. Don't bring up your representative and you know, show who you are up front. So then that way it gives people the opportunity to decide if they want to fuck what you are not. You know, if you you got a little sass behind your tone and your attitude, that's great. You know, show that off and let's be who you is Like. That's fine. Like you quick on your feet.
Speaker 1:That's great. You, you got some different, specific ideals of what you feel like a woman should be in a relationship, or your partner should be in a relationship. That's great. Let's hear all of that. Let us know right now. So then we can decide if and then when. You do that, you can't be upset if they don't. One of us, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like adulthood is harder now than it was in our previous generations that we've saw?
Speaker 3:I don't think so. Me neither. I don't think so. I think it's like the same and I think, honestly, like now we even have more resources for things. I feel, like you know, back then, like well, he's not nobody in my family, like therapy wasn't a thing, mental health wasn't really something we spoke about or, like you know, got help for anything like that, and I think now we have access to those things, which is super beneficial, you know. So it kind of helps with adulthood.
Speaker 1:I agree with that. How much of our disappointment is due to unrealistic expectations we had as kids and disappointment meaning our disappointment in adulthood?
Speaker 3:uh, I don't think it's fair to say like, like it isn't. It's not fair to say a child has unrealistic expectations because you're young and you're just like you're naive and you don't, you're not, you don't really know, so you're just going based seeing on what you see on tv or like what your friends you know, what their experience is or whatever it is. So, yeah, so I guess you know. So it's, it's. Yeah, I would say half of it. I would say like 50, 50. Half is like unrealistic, and then half of it is like what was? What was the exact words that you said?
Speaker 1:how much of our disappointment in adulthood is unrealistic is due to unrealistic expectations.
Speaker 3:We had as kids yeah, I think like half of it is. It's like half and half. Like I could have also not been such an asshole when I was younger, you know, and like listen to my parents and like not ditched, and like listened and did what I was supposed to do but. I didn't, so I had to learn the hard way. So I say it's half and half. You know I can't. I have to take accountability for myself too, you know I get that um what?
Speaker 1:about you I think that. So my mom was always very clear and always very blunt, open and honest about every and most all things. My dad would have preferred us be a little bit more coddled and a little bit more. Sheltered.
Speaker 1:Sheltered. I think that, in terms of my disappointment of being an adult really would come from mostly just the idea that, mostly just revolving around like just how to be financially stable. I just don't think that, you know, there was ever a real conversation about how to be in a financially stable place ever in our family. So really the financial piece is really big for me because it's something that doesn't continue to come up not now, but it was, and sometimes still for some family members around me that I wish that they were just like. You know, you have to put money away, you have to save, you have to do this. And the third Put yourself in a predicament to where you're not overspending for certain things. I guess when we're talking about unrealistic expectations, it was the unrealistic expectation that you will financially be able to do any and everything at every moment, because that is and was not the case was not the case.
Speaker 3:Um, yeah, I think also. Um, like, I feel like when we were graduating high school, or like in high school college and university was such a thing which is good and it's bad because it's so expensive and loans like you don't.
Speaker 3:You're barely turning 18, you're a teenager. You don't know the negative sides of getting such a big student loan or what like what you're really getting yourself into or your parents into, because at that age your parents usually have to co-sign, you know so I think that is like a thing, too, you know, of like learning what a trade is Like now kids are like getting educated on what a trade is and like how you can make money on trade and hands on work. You know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, I agree.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, go ahead. What are we gonna say? I was gonna say because right now, like, a lot of companies have shortage of plumbers and you know hvac technicians and all kinds of things, because our generation was so like college, college office office that you know like not everybody is aware that, bro, you can make money on these things.
Speaker 1:Like, yeah, you're gonna get dirty and stuff, but you're gonna make a lot of money if you're eager for it yeah, it's like the opportunity to chase after the things, um, that you want to chase after right, or the different opportunities that are there in order to be able to move forward in your career and our life right. So, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Let's take a small break and then we'll be back to wrap up this discussion and we are back, so to wrap this up and to just, you know, kind of close out the conversation. So in all the things that we've been talking about, we've talked a lot about, like what we saw as kids and the adults around us and social media and, you know, pop culture and tv shows and etc. Why do you think now, as adults, why do you romanticize being a child or going back to childhood?
Speaker 3:because I didn't have to pay bill right, like a number of things um, I think that was number one.
Speaker 3:Number two was that, um, I didn't have the responsibility of like taking care of other people's like entire life. You know, like I babysat at a really young age but like you know, I didn't have the responsibility of like two mouths to feed or put a roof over two heads, and you know that. And I think the fun aspect like I just had more fun as a kid and like there's a lightness to it, you know, like imagination and like just fun- yeah so I think for me. That's what it is yes, I.
Speaker 1:I do agree with the fun and the freeness as a kid Just being and doing kind of whatever I wanted to be and who I wanted to be at any given moment, and no expectations that.
Speaker 1:I didn't have any expectations to do except for get good grades, be respectful, and yeah, and that was it. Yeah and that was it, um, you know, I, if social media did not become a thing, I think that we could have all been different as kids. But also, I guess social media didn't really start for me until I became like 15, but even before then, though, you know things like, you know the chat lines and all that shit was a thing and so, but anyway, yeah, those are the things that I think you know, just um, being a kid and doing all the things and no expectations were great. How much of your. How do you longing for youth and you know the escapism that comes with that like, do you, um, do you use it to, like, think about the escaping of responsibilities or when you your ideas and thoughts about nostalgia? Does it help you with escaping, like things that are going on in your adult life?
Speaker 3:not really like what, not really you know what I, how, now that because I'm, you know, as a mom, and stuff, uh, I think those things now like it. I tried to use it to like, like connect with my kids, I guess, or like you know, certain things that I liked or that I felt like I should know as a kid or whatever.
Speaker 3:Like now I'm like, well, I'm gonna do that with my kid or whatever. Like now I'm like, well, I'm going to do that with my kid, or like painting with Amaya, or like coloring with her, or like playing teacher Starbucks, like stuff like that, you know. So I kind of use it for that. You know, because adults when I was growing up is more like work and like stress and everything. So I try to be as best as I can like an adult that plays and like speaks, you know, affirmations and things like that to make it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I'm still strict, though.
Speaker 3:I know that's right girl, we ain't got time Right.
Speaker 1:What about? For you right, girl, we ain't got time right. What about for you? I think for me.
Speaker 1:I, when I think about my youth, I think more just in terms of just like you know it was fun being here, I think more in terms of music and, like you know where music has been come now and just like the artists that were out then and versus the artists that are out now, and the consistencies of just all the different music and the acceptingness of just the industry then is very different now and then when we think just outside of that area of just like people, like people are just so hell-bent on making sure we're labeling everybody and putting everybody in a box and putting everybody in the category, whereas you know, at the time when I was a kid it wasn't like that, so I kind of missed that, you know yeah um, just being who you want to be and just kind of living your life at that point yeah um, so just thinking in terms of like history repeating, do you think we're creating a cycle for kids nowadays where we have even where they have even more skewed perceptions of what it is like to be an adult?
Speaker 3:I think it depends Like me personally, like I am very like blunt with my kids. You know, like my son and stuff, I'll be like you want this, this and that, like it costs money. And I try to explain to him in a way like hey, you want this, I had to work like six hours to get you this, or like I had to do this to get you this.
Speaker 3:You know, like. So then he understands like damn okay, like, like you know, because it's not even just about the money, it's about like it takes time for me to work like eight hours, ten hours, whatever, like it's not just oh, here here you know, like, you know what I mean, like I, and so he understands like what work is and like I have a boss and I have to report to a boss and, like you know, just understand, like it's not just like shits and giggles, you know.
Speaker 1:Right Like life isn't just like mommy's not pulling it out of her ass, right you?
Speaker 3:know, Like it's not that easy yeah, enjoy what you have, because then when you're an adult, then this is, you know, like essentially what it is yeah I agree, um, for me, I think that I do think.
Speaker 1:I don't think we as people intentionally are no, I'm sorry us the two and then the you know the people.
Speaker 1:You know we don't intentionally make sure we don't do that, but I do think you know, with kids having access to phones and cell phones and the internet and you know, watching movie, different types of movies and things like that gives them the skewed perspective of what adulthood is some excuse perspective of what adulthood is. And I do think that it's kind of how history repeats itself, Because we said at the beginning that we've watched movies where you know specific people, or specific movies showed us that life can be a specific way, but only to now have lived in a little bit and been through some things and as adults, that is not all like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, know, it's not our fault, I don't think. I don't think it's our fault, I think it's just we're literally never the problem.
Speaker 3:I'm like so weird it's so weird.
Speaker 1:I don't know what everybody's saying, but I don't know. I think everybody has their part that they play in the perception that kids see how kids see us, right, you know, I also think sometimes you know even me, I don't always like to be super ramblin with kids, but paris is like that. He's like, you know, we, they need to know that. It's not easy, it's not, you know, it's not rainbows and butterflies all the time. So, and they should know that, and that's exactly how my mom was, and so it's interesting that I'm kind of the opposite when it comes to certain things, so you know.
Speaker 1:I think everybody plays a part and it can go both ways ultimately, yeah, I think having a good balance of both is important yeah, yes, I agree like there's still kids.
Speaker 3:Let them be kids as long as they can um yeah so like I have a funny story yes, please share I have a feeling this will get clicked.
Speaker 1:I'm sure it will.
Speaker 3:So yesterday I was I don't know whether I was watching and then they said vagina. No, saturday I was at my dad's house. We were all watching a movie and the movie said vagina. And June here was. He was like like I know what a vagina is. And I was like, okay, and I, and I didn't know what to say. So I was like, well, what do you think that is? And he's like, um, but a girl's butt. And I started laughing. But I didn't like laugh too crazy.
Speaker 3:I didn't want to like laugh at him, you know.
Speaker 1:Right, right.
Speaker 3:So I just like giggled and I was like fuck, like what do I say? So then I was like well, and I was in front of my dad. And.
Speaker 3:I was like, well, like kind of, I was like, but it's actually, you know like, you know, like you have a wiener, I was like girls have a vagina and we just what did he say? And then he's like so, then like he's like so, then later on we were talking and then he was like so the vagina is not a butt. And I was like oh my God.
Speaker 3:I was like no, but it was just so. Like my God, I wanted to curl into a ball, like in front of my dad, and I was like oh my God.
Speaker 1:So what did your dad say?
Speaker 3:Did he say anything, or did he have?
Speaker 1:a face.
Speaker 3:No, he just laughed. He's like, well, this is a great family discussion.
Speaker 1:I mean it's bound to happen at some point. Right, like it's better you tell him than him going to school and somebody telling him something completely different. Yeah, or using other terms. Right, you know, you probably would be even more broke if he came home using and I don't want him to feel stupid at school.
Speaker 3:You know like oh, all these kids know and ah, he doesn't know. You know what I mean? Like it's better he asks me versus like yeah. Yeah, but it was. I've been having those moments a lot lately now that he's getting older. They gonna just keep coming. That's the funny part, yeah, but it was. I've been having those moments a lot lately now that he's getting older.
Speaker 1:They gonna just keep coming, that's the funny part.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, all right. Well, I think we could take a final break. I think this was a great conversation just to kind of talk about adulthood versus when we were children and just kind of just look at, take a look into kind of what that was like and like any and just, you know, to kind of recap that kind of growing up experience. So let's take our last break and we'll come back and we'll wrap up the show. Bye, hey, y'all. If you like what you heard, make sure you join the conversation. We always say to make sure to like, comment and subscribe, and we definitely want you to do that, but also we would love if you would join in with us. There's a link in the description where you can actually send us messages. You can also make sure to tag us on social media. Put up your favorite clips of the show and then tag us and we will repost them on our stories. That is the best way to get in communication or community with us and we would love to see y'all interact with the content. Anyway, thank you for following us and thank you for listening and we'll see you back for the remainder of the show. Bye, all right, everyone, and we're back. Thank you for sitting here and listening to the things that we chatted about.
Speaker 1:I wanted to close it with a little affirmation and just you know, I think, with today being the inauguration, I just want to talk about, like, protecting your peace and how important that is um 2025, I think, is. Going 2025 in the next four years on forward is probably just going to be very important to protect your peace and put up any guardrails that you need and boundaries, um. So you know, protecting your energy. Set boundaries on a pot of your own, apologetically, and remember that you do not have to explain your peace to anyone, making sure to prioritize your well-being and watch your light shine brighter than ever when doing that, because it's going to be. It's about to be a little bit, but it's going to be a bumpy road and the first year usually is the bumpiest. So, you know, do what you got to do to protect yourself and your peace. Set those boundaries because it's important. Any final thoughts on that?
Speaker 3:I think boundaries are just so important. They're hard to place sometimes, but you know there's so many things you can search online. Like if you don't know how to like verbalize a boundary to somebody or explain that to somebody, like, look it up, you know there's so many resources now and they're very good tools to use yeah, because not everybody grows up knowing how to like, say no, or how to say like this is where it stops, you know, or whatever, and you can search up how to word it and something that best suits you yeah
Speaker 1:agreed well, with that being said, thank you for listening to this week's episode. We hope that y'all are out there being safe and not drinking and driving, and we hope that you are doing whatever you need to take care of yourselves and your friends and families. You want to tell them where they can find and follow us.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Also just remember that you have rights, yeah that. And you know you don't have to say anything. You have your Miranda rights. You can always request to speak to an attorney if you're an immigrant or anything like that.
Speaker 3:So just throwing that out there. But, yes, you can follow us on Patreon for $8 a month, which is, you know, visual and audio content from current and past episodes, live events and things like that. Instagram live up to dates, lives behind the scenes and clips from our visual episodes and Apple Podcasts, google Podcasts, youtube and iHeartRadio has all of our audio streaming on there. So, whichever platform, all platforms, whatever you choose, just make sure you like and subscribe, please, and thank you.
Speaker 1:Yes, and we hope you all have a good rest of your week um and or weekend, and we will catch you all in the next episode bye.
