Hella Chisme Podcast
Hella Chisme Podcast is a production where Dana and Stefanie sit together with their favorite cocktails and talk about their day-to-day lives. They will cover a wide variety of topics like sex, dating, marriage, pop culture, spirituality and more. The Hella Chisme Podcast will have audio and visual releases every Friday across all major platforms. It's gonna be hella fun.
Hella Chisme Podcast
Wings, Big Sticks, and Cosmic Blokes
This week on the Hella Chisme Podcast, we are reprising a episode.
The world of online dating and Reddit stories takes center stage as we reflect on the ethical implications of a prank involving a fake dating profile. We reminisce about the era of missed connections and personal ads while exploring how Gen Z is breathing life back into in-person speed dating. Our anecdotes and musings offer a humorous perspective on dating dynamics, from the absurdity of old-school Craigslist ads to the financial versus romantic trade-offs faced by today’s daters.
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LINK: https://linktr.ee/hellachismepodcast
Hey y'all. We hope you're enjoying today's show. We just wanted to come by and let you know a little bit of the information of where you can find and follow us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so if you click on the link in our Instagram bio, which you should be following us on Instagram at hellachismetpodcast, it will take you to all the links to all of our platforms, the first one being Patreon, which is the visual content to our episode, and you can subscribe to this for $8 a month and you get to see all the tea and partake in our visual activities.
Speaker 1:Yes and so, and just like Stephanie said, you can find everything in the bio on our Instagram page, as well as all of the other social media platforms we are on. When you go to the Linktree platform, you can see our new article with SD Voyager, links to Patreon, link to our TikTok, link to our YouTube channel, as well as all the different platforms you can listen to the podcast on. At the bottom of that Linktree. You'll also see icons that are also clickable for you to find us. On all of the bottom of that link tree. You'll also see icons that are also clickable for you to find us on all of the platforms that we've mentioned. Again, patreon is the only platform that we have a subscription plan to. That's only $8 a month, and then everything else we provide that we give for you all as far as content is free.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so go ahead. And if you want to listen to us for free, it's at your apple podcast, google podcast, um, you can watch. You can listen to the entire episode on youtube, but you'll only get a portion of the visual. Like I said, we can subscribe on patreon. Uh, so utilize all the platforms and keep up with us on instagram yep, and let's get back to the show of the Hella Cheesemade Podcast. My name is Dana and I'm Stephanie.
Speaker 1:And we are your hosts.
Speaker 2:Gang gang.
Speaker 1:Yes, we were just actually having a little pre-conversation about what we've been having going on and we realized that we both had Wingstop for dinner last night and I feel like people are going to be listening like wait, I thought you don't eat meat. Well, the fact is I'm a picketarian. Okay, I pick and decide when I want a chicken wing or so, because, honestly, that's really what it is. It's like every so often I want Wingstop.
Speaker 2:You know, that's really what it is. It's like every so often I want wing. Stop, you know. Yeah, I was like I ate healthy all week. And then I was like yesterday at my son's game I was like craving some fries. And I was like, oh my god. And I told and I was actually I told my dad. I was like I was like you should go get me some fries. And then he's like are you sure? And then I was like, no, never mind, let me not. So then today I was like bro, I need to fuck up some chicken wings and fries because just craving it, you know that guilty pleasure, pleasure for sure 100.
Speaker 1:I I understand because I'll be having them same same moments cravings yes, it'd be like, like you know, I can only eat fish and just no, no, um other type of protein for so long. But then I just be like fuck, like uh, I just want my ring, my wings, and I want it fried, and with some, you know, garlic, parmesan seasoning or lemon pepper or something you know lemon pepper is fire yes, so, and just did you know, the order of the 40 wing order went up.
Speaker 2:No, I've never ordered.
Speaker 1:Wait, how many wings do you order?
Speaker 2:Like for myself. I'll usually get like the the eight, eight one, because it's like four and an eight yeah, there is a wing. Stop a combo. I literally just went today. You literally can see the grease on my nose no wait, there's really an eight piece yeah let me fact check this. I don't believe you oh my god, but I'm passive, aggressive oh my gosh, let the people know so there is oh wow, there is an eight piece combo.
Speaker 1:That's hilarious.
Speaker 2:I've never ordered anything less than 20 pieces oh my gosh you know, well, it's because so I'll do, like, I'll get my like the eight piece, and then I'll get my son the eight piece because he likes, um, he likes the boneless and I like well, he likes, um, he likes the boneless and I like well, he likes both. But today, like he was craving boneless, so, um, I got him his and he wanted like to try the cajun one, like spicy, so I got him his, like half and half, and then mine, just like lemon pepper and the garlic parmesan on the side. Oh wait, you get the sauce, the garlic parmesan sauce?
Speaker 1:yeah, because oh, where you get the sauce, the garlic parmesan sauce, on the side cause?
Speaker 2:I seen it on TikTok they dip it and then they dip it in ranch and I was like, bro, I need to try this that's a game changer.
Speaker 2:I've never had the garlic parmesan sauce on the side maybe we should do a mukbang one day or record an episode while eating wing stop yeah, but we would have to do it like in person, together and yes yeah yeah, I was saying they have a hot cheeto flavor. Now I saw it. I don't know how that would do, though I mean I don't know, it was very bright red.
Speaker 1:I will say that is it the well I've had? Oh my god, I've had the atomic ones before. The last time I had those was catastrophe, really.
Speaker 2:I was debating too, I was like I should just get Junior the Atomic. But then I was like, nah, it's probably gonna yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's no bueno. I had Last night I had the Louisiana Rub and Lemon, pepper, garlic, parmesan, and then I got Plain ones For Paris. But then this motherfucker was like oh, I only like the boneless and plain. And I was like I mean why?
Speaker 2:did he specify?
Speaker 1:so, um, but that's funny that we both had wing stop. It was delicious.
Speaker 2:How was your week, oh?
Speaker 1:girl. I mean, let's see, it was cray cray, to say the least, Very, very busy, you know, had to get some schoolwork done.
Speaker 2:had to, you know, let my professor know that he had me fucked up Not to have to check him professionally.
Speaker 1:I mean, because I just for me, like because of what I'm studying, I just feel like you should be a little bit better at communicating directions and information for the class. And you know, and I'm like, and he keeps sending us YouTube videos and stuff like that and I'm like, are you teaching us, or are these YouTube videos trying to teach us? Because if that's the case, I don't need to be wasting my money on school.
Speaker 2:Right, okay, youtube certified.
Speaker 1:Right, you know, get into YouTube. What do they call that YouTube certified? Right, you know, get into YouTube. What do they call that YouTube University? So you know, it's just. It makes no sense to me. Yeah. But yeah, the week was cray cray. This week was my alternative work week, so I was off today and looking forward to this long weekend. I was gonna do some work today, but maybe later tonight I'll um you know do a little something maybe then I'll think about it, you know maybe we'll see um how about yours um?
Speaker 2:my week has been good. Oh my gosh, it's been so busy. Um, just like with my son's sport, and then, um, I've been going to the gym. I've been trying to do two a days so. But so I'll do my workout class, which is a lot of like weightlifting and like intense stuff, and then I'll do cardio. Like on my lunch break I'll usually go and I do cardio and abs and then my workout class every day. It's been really good, like for my mental health and stuff like that. I don't know why, like I don't know if it's like the clips or what, but like I have been having a lot of anxiety this week. Like I've been waking up out of my dead sleep. My daughter woke up out of her dead sleep.
Speaker 1:Um, I don't know I mean it's been it's. I feel I blame a lot of it on the fucking on the eclipse on Monday and Mercury still is in microwaves and micro braids and all the things. So I definitely blame it on everything that's happening yeah you know, in our solar system right now. Yeah, because it has been crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was just like you know, I was waking up in the middle of the night, like usually I'm good, especially if I'm going to work out. Yesterday I went and walked the beach even, and that usually will get you like tired and I woke up like at four in the morning and I couldn't go to sleep for like an hour you walked uh mission beach no, I walked ib with um my cousin, my little cousin okay, but last weekend I finally went out, I finally got into some hood rash Where'd you go, what did?
Speaker 2:you do. So we had a little project Not little, but we had a project in the morning, and so after that, I mean, I had gone dressed up to that. So I was like, well, well, let me not waste this outfit and this makeup. So I went, uh, to go eat in IB, a local restaurant, and I met up with, like some co-worker friends, mm-hmm and then my mom met up and it just escalated from there.
Speaker 1:As it usually does.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then I ended up in the nighttime at Calaveras, so I had a great time.
Speaker 1:That's nice.
Speaker 2:Then the next day. Then the next day Wait, did I tell you I went out to eat? And then, yeah, I just went out to eat and then to hang out with some friends, and then that was it.
Speaker 1:Well, what were you going to tell me about the next day?
Speaker 2:That was the next day. The next day I woke up, I was still drunk, so I I called my friend and I was like hey, pick me up, like let's go eat, got it, and then we went to eat and then just had some beers and that was it.
Speaker 1:I mean, it sounds like a yang dang doodle to me, yeah Side note we just got our preview. I know they're so cute. Shout out to Raya's Creative. If you've been following us then you saw us post a little photo-ish of a photo shoot that we did actually last weekend by Raya's Creatives. And yeah, shout out to her. Thank you for you know, capturing our essence and our podcast creativity and our foolishness and some lovely photos and videography yes, and we will be releasing those soon, soon and very soon.
Speaker 1:So you need to follow us on Instagram and we will be releasing those soon. Soon and very soon.
Speaker 2:So you need to follow us on Instagram.
Speaker 1:Yes, and all the socials, because you know, things are about to get real, the price is about to go up. Well, today, similar to last week, um, we don't. It's not that we don't have a structure today, but we are kind of. We did some diving into everybody's favorite place, the reddit, and we're gonna talk about some crazy reddit stories. Um, how many did you pull? I saw you pulled, sent me two.
Speaker 2:I have like a couple other ones. But yeah, if you want me to start, I can, I can start mine.
Speaker 1:Okay, do you want to go? You can do. We'll just go back and forth you do one, I do one, and then you know we'll kind of go break it down, you know, you know how we usually do.
Speaker 2:So the one I'm going to read says from anonymous. It says not proud of this one. But I was very young and it's kind of funny. I was about 19 and I broke up with a guy who was very homophobic and had some super terrible and abusive qualities about his personality qualities about his personality. After I broke up with him, I created a dating profile on Yahoo personals for him saying I was looking for a sugar daddy. It had all his photos and etc. I spent probably close to a month messaging this one older guy in his late 50s. I intentionally picked the pushiest, most crude, most predatory one out of the bunch and then, after he really started pushing to me, hooked him up to my ex's real contact information. Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:The fallout was kind of glorious because my ex thought he had been catfished by one of the girls he was talking to, saying that was really an almost 60 year old married dude. He was super pissed and the guy railed on him quite a bit and kept messaging him for weeks. I figured I was sticking on predator and another. I was sticking on predator and another and that is how I justified it to myself. He still has no idea 23 years later, or at least he has never mentioned it wow, I mean.
Speaker 1:So. First of all, I couldn't imagine if somebody created a profile of me that I didn't create or approve of no one's ever done that to you no not even a dating one like anything all the dating profiles and things that I have had have been created because of me.
Speaker 2:I've had females make Instagrams of me and Facebooks.
Speaker 1:Are you serious?
Speaker 2:And I've had to report them. What. Either they use like my pictures to like catch their man um, it was one of the cases. And then the other one was like hater. The other one was like to sneak, like like a fake.
Speaker 2:You know how people make fake instagrams that's wild yeah, and then they'll stop you and shot it and be like girls. It's you and I'm like what the heck? No, yeah, that's crazy. But yeah, I don't, I don't. I feel I mean she was 19 when she did it right in the story, but I mean I guess it's kind of funny, like he's homophobic, so like.
Speaker 1:I mean, you reap what you sow. Right Did she say she knew somebody that was homophobic?
Speaker 2:Is that?
Speaker 3:why, it was motivated. The guy was I mean I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Did she know somebody that was a part of the community?
Speaker 2:No, she just put him on the gay like dating.
Speaker 1:Because he was such a homophobic asshole. Yeah. He was probably like uber homophobic and like super disrespectful about it. Well, that's what happens when you're out here doing getting tomfoolery.
Speaker 2:She hit him with the reverse uno said here you go, here's your 60-year-old white male.
Speaker 1:Gotta love it. Okay, said here you go, here's your 60 year old white male, gotta love it. Um, okay, so I went down a little bit of the reddit dating rabbit hole, the gay reddit dating rabbit hole, and there was just like a lot of like you know, like just people putting themselves out there and all these things. So I'm gonna read it's like this guy's like dating profile-ish, so, and then we'll unpack it and I'll be like I'll tell you why I was like I just thought it was so funny wait, pause.
Speaker 2:Sorry, did you see the Instagram?
Speaker 1:hours notification we just got no, I don't have my phone. It's charging, is it crazy?
Speaker 2:oh, raya's uh, posted. Uh oh okay, well, okay, sorry okay good to know.
Speaker 1:Um, did she add what? Well, okay, We'll talk about it. Yeah, Okay. Hey there, Okay. So it's 31 male for male versus Hispanic. He lives in SoCal, looking to connect and see where we go.
Speaker 1:Hey there, I'm 31 years old Hispanic male in Southern California looking to connect with someone aged 18 to 40s. I'm very chill and laid back guy with a good head on my shoulders. I work and go to school. He's a nursing major so I can get busy, but I really want to try and connect with someone. My stats he's 5'8", 2'10" thick, average build, not hung. Don't care if you aren't either verse. So I'm cool if you're a bottom or a top affectionate and love to cuddle, love making people laugh. I talk a lot of shit, but in good fun, of course. Yes, I'm comfortable with sending pics. Your stats ideally similar to mine. You could be bigger, you could be smaller. Seriously, I'm not picking, I'm a very average dude. I'm just looking for the same.
Speaker 1:All I ask that there's mutual attraction between us and that we vibe well. If you aren't feeling it, let me know, and vice versa. I've met a few a few people on reddit casual, and they all been pretty vocal about how nice and chill. I am just a shame it doesn't go anywhere beyond that. Anyway, some interests, including gaming, action, action and survival horror. Seeing experience, experiencing things so sightseeing, discovering new eateries, watching new movies absolutely love horror, thrillers and sci-fi horror. I'm not into clubbing or partying scenes been there, done that. I much rather enjoy a small gathering or stay home, but that doesn't mean that I'm anti-event, lol.
Speaker 1:As mentioned, I definitely want to branch out more. So what do I expect to happen between us? Honestly, I keep an open mind about everything and I try not to get hung up when things go awry. I've made what I've perceived to be great connections that seem like it's heading in the right direction but then dies instantly. But I will hope that we click well and progress from there. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I know it's a lot of blah, blah, blah. So have you ever heard of uh? Did you know that once upon a time, craigslist had like missed connections and like male-for-male interactions?
Speaker 2:yeah so this definitely reminded me of that yes, it did um, yeah, there was like a phase of that and then like back page, right there was back, so it was.
Speaker 1:So yes, there was back page. I mean reddit was still. You know, around was around during then craigslist and then um, before then, you know, if we want to really get into the weeds, it was Downy Link had misconnections and then BGC had misconnections, all in effort to, like you know, make connections.
Speaker 2:That's crazy.
Speaker 1:So this hella reminded me of that? Yeah, so this hella reminded me of that? Yeah, and it was just like you know. Shout out if y'all want to make a connection with the 31-year-old Latino male, he's looking for another man. So if you're out there, he looking. But in particularly what this there was once where I was on the Craigslist, mind you, I had. This is how you end up in the middle of the field with your panties on your head when you be out here on craigslist and be out there looking for tail on the craigslist. I had no business, but I was young, dumb and you know is that where you found the hoarder?
Speaker 1:no, I found him on Adam for Adam, which was another one where, um, oh my god, I wonder if Adam for Adam still exists.
Speaker 2:That was another one where you could post misconnections um what is misconnections like have you seen somebody somewhere and like you thought they were cute, and you guys like locked eyes? Exactly so what the heck? Why don't they just talk to you in person right there?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I mean well guys do that?
Speaker 2:why do they do that? Like you lock eyes and like you're like batting your lashes and then like they don't do anything the funny part is they would have them for girl girl, guy on guy, girl on girl girl guy you know.
Speaker 1:So it was always interesting and like but people would post the most craziest shit on the misconnections, like hey, I saw you checking me out at the grocery store. You, I could see that you have such a big dick. Oh my God, I wanted to suck it right then but knew that it was too much. If you read this and you know who you are, please hit me up she said you daddy with the gray sweat bag hit me up.
Speaker 1:said you, daddy with the gray sweat bag hit me up yes, like I spy with my little eye that motherfucker right there that won a truck to be given. This is so funny. So Adam for Adam is still on and popping. That's crazy. Um, so that's what that reminded me of. But oh, what I was gonna say in particularly, it reminded me of this story that I read of this guy that posted a um. He posted like the same type of profile like I just read on Craigslist and he was it's read and said that he was like a Middle Eastern man, southeast Asian guy, very professional man. He worked in the professional industry.
Speaker 1:He I think when I he was in his forties looking for a partner, he didn't care if it was a male or a girl, he had had experience with both, and then he was like you know, I make a lot of money, so the person who I date will be well off, and it just you know, and I'm a very nice guy. Um, he talked about how he owned property and where he lived and everything right. Then he goes. What the issue? Is, it doesn't get up no, he had a micro penis. He's like oh my god.
Speaker 1:I mean listen and just if you're listening to this, we are not size shaming or anything, I just or anything, I just. You know, when you start, when you, when people just be trying to run down, everything that's good and that's great. And then you get like you're waiting for the butt and then it's like but I have a micro penis. And then go so far into describing he's like it's not just that my penis is small, it really is that it is tiny and he's like it's. He's like it's not just that my penis is small, it really is that it is tiny and he's like it's. He's like it's tiny when it's, uh, soft, but when it's hard it's about three and a half inches and on a good day bruh, listen, listen, uh, yeah, girl, I'm gonna sit that out.
Speaker 1:He went and then like so far as to say like yeah, it's three and a half when it's hard, he's like. And then he I can't remember what the comparison was that he he like gave a comparison to like a veggie and why did you keep going like you're making?
Speaker 1:it work, I don't know. I think he just wanted whoever was going to reach out was going to just know, understand what was going on and what the problem was. Um, so that was that, and it just this profile that, when reading that guy's profile, reminded me of that whole thing. And when I tell you to this day, that's just something I would never forget Like people used to really be like trying to put themselves out there on the Internet in any way they could.
Speaker 2:And now it's like the opposite.
Speaker 1:And now it's the opposite In a way. Yeah, I was just. We were just watching a news clipping where they were saying that they are starting up speed dating again.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Speed dating is coming back um and it's the actual gen z is the ones that are starting it back up because they said they're over dating on apps, which is not surprising okay.
Speaker 2:So two things pause first. Would that be, would you ever like be with somebody and like be like okay, where I could be financially secure, but they just like are not packing not even not, not, even not packing, just like three and a half on a good day that's not even what.
Speaker 1:what am I going to do with that? I mean and I'm very orally inclined- Dana, we had this conversation, dana. I don't think so.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I just I don't think so, because yeah, I feel you.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't think I could either, but second dating apps when you were single and you were on them. Were you a fan or no? Oh, that's a good question. Wait, wait, you met your husband like that, right?
Speaker 1:yes, yes, oh that's right so me and paris met on scruff and um, which is a gay dating app for bears. For all of y'all listening and don't know, um was I a fan. I I had moments where I went on and off the dating app so I would go on cleanses. It's pretty safe. It's like when isa on insecure would be like I'm on a cleanse. That used to be me all the way, which is why I think I used to completely understand where she was coming from on the show. I'm on a cleanse. I can't use these dating apps no more. It's too much. I stopped using Grindr for a long. I stopped using Grindr, I want to say, after I turned like 24, I just was like fuck Grindr Because it just wasn't. It was like it was starting to become what people say. It is now Like super toxic and super, just terrible.
Speaker 2:Like that Tinder.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whereas Scruff was a little bit more. It wasn't better, but it was a little more Filtered. Was it filtered? No, I just think it just seemed like the crowd was a little bit more mature on Scruff. Okay, and if once you paid for your subscription which I had, a subscription that I paid for then it was more filtered and it filtrated out, like you know, the bullshit and people that you know, clearly I wouldn't be interested in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, I can relate in the sense of like dating cleanses, like I'll go on, like periods where I'm just like I'm home, I don't want to leave. We're like talk to nobody, like man wise or like me.
Speaker 2:I won't link up with them or like whatever. In regards to dating apps, I did try Bumble for a little bit, but I tried it like the one where you pay, because same thing like they cannot see you unless you like them, and then also it filters like people. But I I only met one person on there and after that I never used them again.
Speaker 2:I told you and the only reason why I met up with that person was because it was someone local that a friend of mine knew. So it was like you know, and I met in a public place, just like a date or whatever. So, yeah, and we're still friends to this day, so it's pretty cool. And I met in a public place and just like a date or whatever. So, yeah, and we're still friends to this day, so it's pretty cool.
Speaker 1:Okay, I mean, you know I feel like they do sometimes get a little crazy, but you kind of have to decide and filter out which ones you gonna fuck with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did. I never used like Tinder. I didn't use like none of those, because I was always scared of that. I was like, nah, they're gonna fuck around and like kidnap me, kill me over here, you know.
Speaker 1:Girl. I mean, that used to be me when I was. That's what I'm talking about when it comes to like.
Speaker 2:But remember the AOL chats, ooh girl, but remember the AOL chats. Ooh Girl, the chat rooms.
Speaker 1:Girl, I had a friend who was like I had a couple of friends who would be heavy in the AOL chat rooms and like I used and it's similar to kind of what they have now Like they have ones where you can do video and they'd still be wild I a crow literally just flew and is right here staring at me, dana oh my gosh that, yeah, the chat rooms were, were crazy.
Speaker 2:um, I don't know, that was like a wild time. I'm so scared, like my kids to be older, like with social media and stuff Like.
Speaker 1:Because if it's crazy now, I imagine how it's going to be when they get older. You know, Okay, well, let's take a quick break, and then we will come back and get into a few more stories. Bye. Bye, hey y'all. We hope you're enjoying today's show. We just wanted to come by and let you know a little bit of the information of where you can find and follow us.
Speaker 2:So if you click on the link in our Instagram bio, which you should be following us on Instagram at Hello Cheese Mint Podcast, it will take you to all the links to all of our platforms, the first one being Patreon, which is the visual content to our episode.
Speaker 1:And you can subscribe to this for eight dollars a month and you get to see all the tea and partake in our visual activities. Yes and so, and just like stephanie said, you can find everything in the bio on our instagram page, as well as all of the other social media platforms we are on. When you go to the link tree platform, you can see our new article with sd voy, links to Patreon, link to our TikTok, link to our YouTube channel, as well as all the different platforms you can listen to the podcast on. At the bottom of that link tree, you'll also see icons that are also clickable for you to find us on all of the platforms that we've mentioned. Again, patreon is the only platform that we have a subscription plan to. That's only $8 a month, and then everything else we provide, that we give for you all as far as content is free.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so go ahead. And if you want to listen to us for free, it's at your Apple podcast, google podcast, you can watch. You can listen to the entire episode on YouTube, but you only get a portion of the visual. Like I said, we can subscribe on Patreon. So utilize all the platforms and keep up with us on Instagram.
Speaker 1:Yep, and let's get back to the show.
Speaker 2:Bye Familia.
Speaker 1:Sorry, we're back from our break. Thankfully, I'm a master editor, so you don't have to worry about that being in there yeah. I'm sorry, friend. Uh, we're back from our break, um, and I refilled my wine glass, so, stephanie, why aren't you having some wine with me today?
Speaker 2:um, I think that's why my throat is shaking. Maybe I need it. No, um, I don't know. I'm just I don't know are we um? We're going out tomorrow night yeah, we're supposed to, I'm just waiting for my mom to get home oh, so you can clarify.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll ask Paris if he wants to go with us. Alright, so you're next on the reddit stories okay, bruh, sorry, okay.
Speaker 2:So, um, here's another story, like a horror story. So it says my ex got into art and started attending an evening class. So one christmas I spent a fortune on all the gear for her oil paints, water paints, brushes, canvas, etc. And all that shit is not cheap. Come christmas day she opened her presents, broke into tears and ran out of the house, smashing the car into the garden wall. As she left and disappeared for three days before finally calling me after a completely ruined christmas of my family and her family worried sick about what had happened to her. Turns out she hadn't been going to art classes, she'd been fucking some other guy and that was it for me. I never saw again, despite her wasted attempts to say sorry.
Speaker 1:So she she was upset at him about the art. She was guilty. Oh, ok, so she, she, ok, I was going to say she made up being upset cause, um okay, so she felt guilty about what she had already been doing she probably felt guilty and was like embarrassed, so made like a drama and left and then she ain't heard from him since no, he did it for her he bought her the, the art stuff and everything because she was going to art class.
Speaker 2:But so then he bought her that. So, um, she was like triggered and felt guilty because in reality she was never taking the art classes. She would just tell him that because she was going and fucking somebody else.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh, the art class was a cover. Ha, ha, ha ha.
Speaker 2:Ha, ha, ha ha. Oh, my God man, ha, ha, ha ha.
Speaker 1:Mmm, what a shady bitch. I mean well she was triggering yeah, you know, it's funny how that happens when you're out here doing tomfoolery, huh, you start feeling bad about the dumb shit you out there doing huh, mmhmm that might be a little buzz, stephanie, I think my ears are drunk you start feeling bad about the dumb shit you out there doing huh, mm-hmm. Well, I might be a little buzzed, stephanie, I think my ears are wrong.
Speaker 2:I think so too. I was like stay with me, david Blink twice.
Speaker 1:You know, I don't drink as much as I used to, so it don't take nothing, no more, hey the hoodie's getting lower and lower Right.
Speaker 2:A v-neck, a v-neck in a second. I have that for you it's Friday.
Speaker 1:Girl, look, and it was my Friday. I'm real relaxed. Paris came home all stressed out, hair falling out, weight up and down, couldn't keep nothing down. He was real fucked up. When he got home Back all aching, he was like how was your day? I was like, oh my God, it was so relaxing, oh. I'm going to turn it into a real day.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, my day was fantastic.
Speaker 1:Pushes the glasses right, swirls the wine like we were on zoom I mean we were on facetime and he was telling me and I was like, oh my god, so horrible. Mind you, this one has been like I've been going to work at 6 am every morning and he's been in bed till about 11 and I'd be so jealous like, oh my god, I wish I can go to bed, but I'm thankful yeah. I'm very, very thankful. Anyway, all right, okay, so my next story is a crazy sex story okay all right, so it's called broke dick mountain is it a gay dating story?
Speaker 1:No, it's actually not.
Speaker 2:What the hell yes.
Speaker 1:I know exactly what you're going to say. I don't know why he named it Broke the.
Speaker 2:Count, I've only read Maybe that's why it's broke.
Speaker 1:I've only read up until the middle, where the story takes a turn.
Speaker 3:Okay, let's go Alright, the middle, where the story takes a turn.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's go All right. This girl was going down on me for the first time and after 25 minutes or so it wasn't really coming to a close. This is about 24 and a half minutes longer than I expected to last. I say that was okay because this is all over the place because of the grammar. I say that we should call it a night is what he says to her, and we lie down and try to get some sleep.
Speaker 1:Five later I feel a small pain by my left testicle. Ten minutes after that, the pain is insignificant. It's significant and I think I might need to take a Tylenol. Ten minutes after that, I'm sure that I'm going to fucking die. So at this point the pain is so astronomical that he thinks he's about to fucking die. So this is literally the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I can barely stand, let alone walk, and I decided I needed to leave the room.
Speaker 1:So he leaves the room while the girl is still sleeping in the room. He calls his friend and they live in the same resident hall, so they're in the dorms, obviously and ask if he has a ice pack. He says he does, so he hobbles over to his room. In fact he has a freezer with a water bottle. So he says, fuck it. And he shoves the water bottle in his pants in an attempt to make the pain go away. This is not a successful medical treatment, so he wonders aloud if maybe it's some sort of pulled growing muscle. Him being scared and both of them being dumb, they decide to put icy hot in the area life you life, these dumb little kids in there life pro tip.
Speaker 1:Icy hot is never the answer. When the issue is just the color, no shit. So then he goes on to say suddenly I have a new, worst pain I've ever felt. Between the searing pain on the outside of my scrotum and the blinding pressure on the inside, I'm about to cry. I get in the shower in an attempt to wash it off. While in the shower my friend is on WebMD worst idea and determines that I might be. It might be a testicular torrenson. I think he means like he has a tear in his testicle area or a hernia, one of the two. A different friend of mine had a torrension a year earlier, so I knew it was nothing to fuck with. To the hospital we go. So they decide to go to the hospital. We called a friend who has a car on campus and he takes me to the hospital. I tell the receptionist I'm having testicle pain and she asked what I was doing when it started. I say and say I was receiving fellatio. Every person in that 3AM.
Speaker 2:ER. Wait, is that what you called the blowjob Fellatio?
Speaker 1:I think he was trying to be grammatically correct because he's in the fucking ER and he's this young kid. He's trying not to embarrass himself because he's already embarrassed, receiving fellatio and the 3M ER room size, but be it patient, nurse or receptionist. So everybody the nurse, the receptionist, all of them sighed when he said it. They give me an ultrasound and determine that it's not in fact a, it's not a tear. Um, victory is mine. So I ask what it actually is? Okay now, these are all words epidemiitis. Let's look this up. You know what that is?
Speaker 1:no, okay, let's look it up, google I don't have a it's a inflammation of the cold, the coil tube, called the epidemis at the back of the testicle. Symptoms of epidemis. Just let's, let's, let's, let's learn how to pronounce it.
Speaker 2:I'm and we're sad but dimmers towards this tube testicular here.
Speaker 1:Let's see, let's pronunciation epidemimitis is how you pronounce it. And let's see, look at us getting our doctors.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna have a son, so if he ever runs into this at that age.
Speaker 1:Our YouTube oh, torsion it's. So then it's a torsion, testicle torsion. So he doesn't have that, so he has epidemitis, says the doctor. Apparently, this is the inflammation of the tube that delivers semen back. Oh, this motherfucker had been blowing nuts. Motherfucker was beating his meat too much.
Speaker 2:Or he was in the dorm with all the floozies.
Speaker 1:Apparently, this is the inflammation of the tube delivers semen back and forth, generally forth, this is a blockage of semen and it's called crippling pain. I asked what causes the blockage? Oh, gonorrhea, dead pans. The doctor. So the doctor, the doctor's like you have this, this condition, and he's, and she's like, he's like what caused it, it cause you got the oh shit fuck, could you imagine?
Speaker 2:gonorrhea doesn't go away. Huh, it does go away, it does yeah, I've had it three times really. I didn't know that, dana, what I didn't know that Dana.
Speaker 1:What I was a whore, okay. So after a brief moment of panic, I realized that I can possibly have an STD. This is my first sexual experience, so there was no way. That's what's causing this. I tell the doctor as much, and he seems to be at a bit of a loss. So he was a virgin, allegedly he's like well, it's possible, I suppose that the fluids in the testicles are being released enough. Um, meaning you out here, you clearly coming a lot doing something and it says I didn't fucking jerk off enough.
Speaker 2:They gave me some medicine and I go on my way so he didn't jerk off enough. So it was like backed up, so he had like a backup of fluid so he wasn't, and this girl couldn't get it out because she didn't know what she was.
Speaker 1:She was in fellatio, correctly I didn't fucking jerk off enough. They gave me some medicine and I got on my way, but everyone in the dorm building now refers to me as broke dick. Mountain Girl gave me a blowjob and I went into a crippling pain because I didn't jerk off enough. Wow, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:That's insane.
Speaker 1:I mean that sucks. That's crazy, that's insane.
Speaker 2:I mean that sucks that's crazy, that's embarrassing I mean yeah, yeah that was that shit would have me weak shit without any weed, um okay, so the next one I have is like they're not like stories, but they're funny like lines, like punchlines I guess. So I looked up what is the funniest way to break up with your significant other. And it says one says hey, babe, just going to go out and get some smokes be, right back in 10 minutes and then don't ever come back.
Speaker 2:It says break up with them on April 1st. So they'll think it's a joke, but it's not. The other one says hey, babe, I think, I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Speaker 1:Not the previous level.
Speaker 2:Yes, Us not being together. Sleep with their family members.
Speaker 1:Yo, all that's wild.
Speaker 2:If you, if you wanted to break up, just break up the other one says hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven. Because, honestly, karen, you're a demon.
Speaker 1:Oh no, oh my gosh people are wild do you have like a like a funny story of how you broke up? With somebody me yeah, do I have a funny breakup story um no no, no, I usually try to take those things seriously, do you?
Speaker 2:uh, I wouldn't no, not like a, I just have crazy breakups okay I mean oh my god, it's funny because on Sunday I was just talking about that really yeah, I was asked like what's the craziest thing I've done? And then I said it out loud and I was like, yeah, I probably should have just like yeah, what was that? Um. I allegedly Allegedly for legal purposes. I may or may not have slashed a couple of tires in my day.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:I may or may not have hit some car windows with a bat in my day, and you know other things that I probably should just throw in my pocket yeah, I mean, don't feel bad about those things, you know, sometimes I don't feel bad.
Speaker 1:Don't go that far she's like I don't feel bad. I never said that.
Speaker 2:No, I felt bad, I said it, but I confessed it.
Speaker 1:I don't feel bad that it happened.
Speaker 2:I'm like wait. Who said I feel bad Because listen you fuck around, you find out.
Speaker 1:That's right, play a little game. I be trying to tell people I'm not the one to play with. I be trying to tell people Okay.
Speaker 2:I'm not the one to play with, I just be going too far. I don't know how to play, I just be going too far. I'm here for it. What were you going to say?
Speaker 1:I have one last little funny story.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay. So a college acquaintance of mine was in his first apartment and he could hear the couple in the apartment above him having sex. The woman kept yelling shit on me over and over again, louder and louder. Finally, my friend heard another neighbor's window open and a man yelled will someone just shit on that? Fucking bitch around already so I can get some goddamn sleep. And the couple's apartment above went silent. You know, I think reddit will forever let me know that the people are unhinged. The people are unhinged. They are doing all the things. They are out here living their life like it's golden, with golden showers and golden shits and scat playing. Reddit gets me together, and you know what? Twitter. Sometimes, if you catch them on a good one, you can find a good thread and go down a rabbit hole. You know what this reminds me While we were sitting here talking about dating apps. We should find some good dating app thread Like you know how they do those, uh-huh, we should do those Now that I think.
Speaker 2:I'm in a group on Facebook.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:I'm in a group on Facebook and it's called Are we Dating the Same Guy, san Diego, and they post pictures of guys.
Speaker 1:Stop.
Speaker 2:I'll be in there, I'll be like reading that shit and they're like the wife pops up. Oh my gosh, that shit is crazy. The best friend.
Speaker 1:Oh, there's another group. That is all about.
Speaker 2:They have them like in San Diego, la. Like they'll put like are we dating the same guy Oakland? Are we dating the same guy San Diego? Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love it you have to get like approved there's one about DL men oh shit yeah, they be out in these motherfuckers. I'm not in on it, I'm not in on any of those groups.
Speaker 2:I just, you know, I'm going on that one, that'd be crazy yeah, I just you never know, I've always had a lot of gay friends and like, um, the shit they be saying is just wild.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:The people are unhappy like and also like if you're yelling at me like hurry up and shit on me, like I can't shit under pressure, like that, bro, that's crazy that you're yelling at me to take a shit first of all.
Speaker 1:Second of all, stop pressuring, I can't shit on the map first of all, you're trying to choke me because I was, I took a sip, not you having shit performance anxiety I'll be having constipation issues, bro, I need my fiber, I need my girl, girl that's insane.
Speaker 2:I mean does that mean like when they're shitting? When they're shitting, are they like farting, like full on, just like? Do they have wipes next to them like serious question?
Speaker 1:I need to know, is there?
Speaker 2:like a setup there.
Speaker 1:have you ever saw that? You remember back in the day where it was like two girls and one cup?
Speaker 2:I never watched it. I was so scared. You should have. Fuck, no, fuck, no. Oh yeah, yeah, I should have missed it.
Speaker 2:I only watched, like I think, maybe two minutes and was like, oh my God, this is gross, this is terrible, and I'm not we're not shaming anybody in their kinks, but terrible and I'm not we're not shaming anybody in their kink, but a lot of women like they post on tiktok that they go to dubai because a lot of them have fetishes like that over there and they pay them like 15 grand to like shit on them. I'm like I mean, uh, cash, cash. Wait, are we talking cash here?
Speaker 1:Or are we talking wire transfers?
Speaker 2:Does this also include flying hotels? Is dinner provided? My friend's curious Do you eat a balanced meal? People? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:I mean, I've heard when people like talk about, when they talk about it, and they say, like you know, you have to eat the right things and this, that and the third and my first question is to be like what's the right things? Just so I for my knowledge, so I understand. Probably like the right things.
Speaker 2:Veggies. So then it doesn't come out like diarrhea, like it comes out like a cute little. What are you talking about? A cute little pie, cute little nugget, cute little nugget. Watch this shit. Be the one that goes viral.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, that would be so mad, the episode that we're talking about fucking Scat play and all kinds of shit. Is the one Great?
Speaker 2:Love that for us. Now we have a reputation to keep.
Speaker 1:Now we have a reputation to keep. Great. Yo, that's wild. That is wild and you know, I think this is the perfect time to wrap it up On that note. On that note, make sure you're wrapping it up, make sure you're using the condoms, make sure you're using saran wrap, you know, because I think that is the perfect thing to use, especially if you love scat, play um, so that way it's technically not on you if you like to get shit on, make sure you get your hepatitis shots, because, yeah, that's how it's spread.
Speaker 2:Yes, fecal matter clean under your fingernails, wash the body in bleach okay, stop. And also, if you know the details, the details to the questions I asked, dm, that I may or may not have a couple of references.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, I needed that. That was great.
Speaker 2:That was good.
Speaker 1:Thank you Reddit. Thank you Reddit. Now, by the way, we have an account. So, I set up an account. So whenever we have our stories, um, just log in through our yeah, through our um email, okay, um, I don't even know how to close this out well, on a spiritual note, live your life, sis, yes. Do you?
Speaker 2:boo, do you? Don't let anybody judge you or shame your micro penis or your kinky habits, live your life, babe.
Speaker 1:And we're here for you, that's right. And if you here for you, that's right. And if you need support, you come call us.
Speaker 2:And if you write an anonymous letter, send it to us.
Speaker 1:That's right. We would love to know.
Speaker 2:And just remember you are worthy. You are important, you are valuable.
Speaker 1:And clean under your fingernails.
Speaker 2:Get all your vaccinations.
Speaker 1:Yes, especially for hepatitis, because if you're out here playing with the it be out there and the gonorrhea. And make sure you masturbate enough.
Speaker 2:Yes, get your daily In. Or yes, get your daily in, or that's how you need to subscribe to our patreon for eight dollars a month. So you can see what we're doing right now behind the scenes.
Speaker 1:That's right, because if you don't, you got two months two and a half months okay, and isn't that crazy because my birthday is in two and a half months. Isn't that crazy Because my birthday is in two and a half months?
Speaker 2:I know my birthday is in three weeks.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Tourist season is coming y'all.
Speaker 1:The thing that's honestly racking my brain is that I'm about to be a year ago we were in.
Speaker 1:Almost that's crazy, huh oh yeah, because we went. We went the weekend after single de mayo. Well, we hope you enjoyed, enjoyed today's episode. Make sure you follow us on our Instagram, subscribe to our YouTube. You know, really you need to be subscribing to our Patreon, like Stephanie's already mentioned, because we are going to be moving all of our video content over to Patreon and we would still be able to go. You'll still be able to see us on our lives on YouTube, but we will be moving our video content over to Patreon. And go ahead and subscribe. It's only $8 a month and you can see all of these wonderful videos there, and once we start to transition over, we'll do more things on Patreon. Also, we have a live coming up this month. It'll probably be oh my God, it's already April.
Speaker 2:Oh, it'll be probably to the day that this airs, because the 19th right.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, wait, let me look.
Speaker 2:And this will be. I think this will be out the 19th. Wait. The day before tour season.
Speaker 1:What's today? Okay, my Tool bar won't come up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this will probably. This will be out next week, so next Friday.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, is that the 19th Mm-hmm? Okay, so then, yes, so our live will be Tonight.
Speaker 2:Tonight. Sorry, my Tourette's kicked in. I'm like tonight.
Speaker 1:That's correct. Our live is tonight. Make sure you tune in if you're listening to this first. It will be tonight at 6 pm Pacific Standard Time and 9 pm Eastern Standard Time. We'll be on. We'll be acting foolish, just like we is right now. It's just going to be the two of us. This time We'll probably, matter of fact, we'll probably do a mix between Reddit, grindr and we could do some, would you Rather? Because we usually do them for about two hours. So we can do a good mix of both and like variety.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we'll, we'll get it together, we'll step, we'll have some wine and we'll hang out and we'll have a yang dang doodle. It'll be fun. Yeah, all right. Friends, make sure to check on your friends, even the strong ones. Make sure to don't drink and drive. Make sure to note, don't text and drive, because I'll be seeing y'all, don't be a bully.
Speaker 1:Don't be a bully. Be nice and stay warm. I know the weather is not is still not great right now, especially in San Diego. It's been a very up and down, and then I know there's other places that are dealing with extreme weather conditions. Oh, and rest in peace. To OJ Simpson, I know a lot of people don't really care because he killed his wife or allegedly killed his wife, but I mean he still died from cancer. Somebody got to show him some love.
Speaker 2:I mean not even love, just some acknowledgement, Some acknowledgement Speak of that Speak of that.
Speaker 1:All right, y'all. See y'all next week. Bye.
